You Will Change! #LifeLesson6

Almost a year ago I started the life lesson series on this blog and promised to give you guys 7 life lessons but as I wrote more and more life lessons, I loved the series and decided to make it a permanent feature on the channel. As life would have it, I haven't done a life lesson in almost 9 months but today I have a short and quick life lesson for you.

The life lesson is that you will change. You will grow. You will develop. You will do things you swore you would never do,change your mindset, give up things you treasure, let people go that you cherish. You will change and that is absolutely definitely positively okay. You are human and the way that we think and reason constantly changes! You do not owe anyone your stagnancy. Anyone who can't get on board with the fact that you've upgraded your thinking or your mindset needs to hit the exit sign real quick.

People like to throw the phrase 'you've changed' in a bid to hamper your self esteem and keep you shackled to their stagnant regressive mentality and it's up to you to resist that. Life happens to the best of us and along with it comes change, growth and self development. Yes you have changed over the years and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Embrace your journey, its yours and no one elses.

Feel free to check out the other LifeLessons:
LifeLesson1: Click Here!
LifeLesson2: Click Here!
LifeLesson3: Click Here!
LifeLesson4: Click Here!
LifeLesson5: Click Here!

Feel free to check out my Youtube Channel here and subscribe.
See you later xx

5 University/College Myths Debunked!

Hey Guys,

As you should know I am a recent Law graduate (Glory be to God) and I have a lot of knowledge to share about the rollercoaster that is University so get ready to see a few posts about that. In this post, I'm just going to be sharing with you a few myths that have always surrounded university and whether or not they turned out to be true.

1. You will find your husband/wife in University.
This is by far the biggest myth propagated about life at University. Whilst there is ample chance to meet lots of men and women in university, the chances of them being your happily ever after are very slim. This is because what noone tells you about the people at uni is that after having a somewhat restricted dating life, they are coming to university with the intention to have fun and take complete advantage of their freedom hence getting 'wifed' up is the least of their worries.
Some people do meet their life long partners at uni even if they don't know it at the time but sadly that is not the case for the majority of people so just be very aware of that.

2. First year doesn't count.
Another silly myth that is spread ever so enthusiastically. This is a dangerous myth because it suggests that you can slack off and do whatever you want in your first year and you will still be okay  and sadly this is just not true. First of all, first year actually does count for some people (yes they are unlucky i know). Secondly if you do not pass first year, honey you will find yourself out on your a** and not in second year. It's a low threshold to pass admittedly but you certainly still have to pass. And thirdly, applying for placements, work experience, graduate jobs all require you to state your first year grades and are often based off how well you did. So if you're ever tempted to sack off a lecture because 'first year doesn't count', think again because it really really really does.

3. You have to live on campus to make friends.
Living on Campus will put you in the same vicinity as a lot of other students but it is not the foolproof formula for making friends. Take it from me, I lived in halls for the whole first year and left with 2 real friends I kept in contact with (cause they were my flatmates) and a handful of people I smiled to if I saw out and about (and some that I promptly avoided). There will be plenty of chances to make friends in University, (trust me), whether or not you live on campus is not the determining factor for how many friends you will have. The closest people to me during my university days were not friends I made in halls, there were friends I made by chance so chill.


4. A  levels is harder than University.
This is probably the worst of all the myths. The most infuriating and the one that in retrospect I should have put first in the list. I remember someone telling me in A levels the only reason we pay for Uni and not A-levels is the degree and that University is a lot easier than A levels. (I wish I still spoke to them to find out how true they found this.) This is by far the biggest load of crap I have ever heard. I won't even justify it with an explanation. There is a reason why they call it 'reading for a degree' and not 'reading for a A-level'. University is hard! And it is most definitely harder than A levels.

5. Freshers week is the best week of your life.
Hold it right there! Whoever propagated this myth needs to have several seats. Whilst some people will have a whale of a time in freshers week (I will admit that much), the claim that it will be the best week of your life is a grave overstatement. After preparing myself and telling myself I was going to go all out for freshers week, I was sorely and immensely disappointed. Apart from the lack of great places to go to my taste (maybe I just wasn't familiar with the good places yet), the week just fell limp and very underwhelming. Best week of my life? Most definitely not good sir. Not even Average week of my life.

I could go on and on and on about the many myths I heard prior to going to University that were just not true but I shall call it a night at this point. (It's 2am so Literally call it a night) and let you figure out the other myths for yourself.

Despite all the dreams you may have been sold about university, what I will say is that it is a heck of a place and definitely a life changing experience, (a bit much I know but humor
 me). More than anything else, just prepare for the worst, hope for the best and enjoy your time at Uni, there will be lots and lots of fun times but inevitably lots of lows so don't let it get you down.

Feel free to follow my Youtube Channel where I will be doing a University Series here!
I know this blog was very very long but thank you for bearing with me and I will see you later.
Blessing xoxox

How To Get What You Want From People!

Hey Guys!

I'm back again! I told you I would see you in two weeks and here I am! I'm loving the consistency!
Today is not a long post at all! I just wanted to share a life lesson with you that has really manifested for me over the past few months. I'm a person who doesn't gel well with rejection if I'm honest. I don't particularly like it nor do I take well to other people saying no to me and because of this, I've found myself just not asking.

And whilst this seems to be a sure fire way to avoid rejection, it also means that you miss out a lot on life and what it has to offer. So many times we are too scared to ask people for things when really all we had to do is ask and we would have received. The way to get what you want from people is to ASK! Trust me it seems very silly to point that out but we tend to assume the worst in people or sometimes underestimate ourselves and in the process miss out on so many things.

I'll use myself as an example, I have a YouTube channel which you can check out here! (I know shameless self promo) and I am not a big channel by any means, I'm a little way from 600 subscribers and I wanted to do both a summer lookbook and a tasting video (both of which I will link down below of course) but as I was a small channel I doubted that any company would want to send me anything when there were Youtubers with 100 0000s of subscribers but with encouragement from my friends, I thought why not and emailed two companies, telling them about my channel and what I would like to do and how I would like to work with them and to my surprise, both companies were willing to work with me. And they genuinely sounded excited to be a part of my channel and sent me items for free to feature.

I could not believe that these established companies would even want to work with a small time YouTube like me or how easy it would be but alas it was! All i had to do was ask and it happened.

So here I am challenging you guys to be more open and just ask for what you want. You would be surprised how many people are more open than you suppose.

I will see you guys in two weeks time! Lots and lots of love. And if you want to catch up with me in the interim, you can follow me on my social media.

Twitter: Cocoa_infusions                                              Insta: Cocoa_infusion/ Intuitive_Clothing

Check out the Spanish Snacks tasting Video here!
Check out the summer lookbook Video here!

5 Tips to Do Well In Your Interviews!

Hey Guys,

Graduation season is upon us and whether you're looking to get into the world of Graduate work or just needing a summer job for the mean time, interviews are an inevitable part of it. So combining research and my numerous interview experience and feedback, I've collated 5 tips to help you do well in your interview.
And whilst these tips don't guarantee you complete success, they are more likely to make you successful than if you didn't do them. For a visual representation of these tip, you can watch them on my YouTube channel here!

1. Research!
If you've ever been in the presence of someone who knows absolutely nothing and tries to blag their way through it but it's painfully obvious how little they know then you know the importance of doing your research.
You want the firm to hire you and spend lots of money training you and paying your salary, the least you can do is learn a little about them beforehand. You have no idea how well it looks on you if you walk into an interview and are able to tell the employers a lot about themselves. It looks like you care, like you made an effort and that you go the extra mile.

2. Be Personable!
People love people they get along with and who they can feel comfortable with. Someone who is a people's person and who can create lasting bonds can oftentimes be more valuable than someone with a first class degree but the personality of a fish! Most jobs nowadays will often involve human interaction so unless you are applying to work in a hole isolated from the outside work, employers want to know that you will be a positive representation of their brand.

Besides if they enjoyed the interview with you and found you pleasant, they're also more likely to remember you once the interviews are over and it's time to make a decision.

3. Dress Appropriately!
The phrase 'First impressions matter' exists for a reason, you never get a second chance to create a first impression so you need to do everything within your power to make sure that when you walk into that interview room, you are not giving them any reason to not like you. Dress like the part you are applying for. This is not a fashion show; a magazine cover or a clown park. You are here in a professional capacity, so look like you are.

Bright Makeup, lipsticks, false eyelashes, long pointy colourful nails, jeans, rumpled shirts and blazers, dirty and stained clothes all have no place in an interview. NOBODY wants to see a rumpled shirt, it looks like you didn't care enough about the interview to iron your shirt or that you are unkempt and slobby, and that is not an image you want to give your future employer! A simple shirt and black skirt/trousers is always a safe bet for any interview! Jeans are way too casual.
I could go on and on but I think you get the point.

4. Find your Unique Selling Point!
This is the point where you show them that if they don't hire you for this position, they will be making a huge mistake as a company. Whether this is true or not is irrelevant, you just need to make them believe that it is. What is it about you beyond your great academics (because everyone at this stage has that) or your work experience that makes you the person that they should go with. Find out what about you is so unique and then sell it to them. Is it the business you started? The Youtube Channel you upload on weekly? Your blog? The society you are president of? What is it about you that makes you a better candidate than any other person?

Find it and sell it!

5. Relax and be Confident!
There is no point being so nervous that you turn into a shivering wreck and can't bring yourself to formulate a sentence. The fact that you even made it to the interview stage is because they liked something about you out of all those that applied so play on your strengths and see it more as a conversation with people who want to get to know you. Listen to music that makes you feel confident, put yourself in a good mood and go out there to kill it.

At the end of the day, they either give you the job or not, like everything in life, its a gamble. Go in with your best foot forward and hope for the best.


And the final bonus tip is to always call back for feedback, this particular company may not have wanted you but they may give you a good reason as to why not which will then enable you to better yourself for the next interview. If you know where you went wrong in one place, you can utilize that information to be better elsewhere!

I hope this was informative and at least a little bit helpful and I wish you the best in all your interviews.

I'm back to writing blogs now and I shall ensure to be consistent from henceforth and you can expect to see a post from me every two weeks on this blog or if you head on over to my youtube channel here! I post videos on a weekly basis with similar content to the blog.


Social Media:
Twitter: Cocoa_infusions                                          Insta: Cocoa_infusion/Intuitive_Clothing

You're Not Responsible For Other People!

Hey Guys,

I know what you're going to say, where the hell have i been? That's a good question but we don't have time to get into it on this post! I also have a stir fry recipe coming up for you but in the meantime, i wanted to come and quickly talk about what's been on my mind for a while.

Lately I've found myself being super concerned with other people and the choices they make with their lives. If someone claims they're a christian but their actions and words don't really display such i get super concerned and start trying to figure out why, or if someone does or believes something that i absolutely strongly disagree with, i ponder about it for a long time wondering why? But I recently realized that It's none of my damn business! People are free to think and do whatever the hell they please, it has nothing to do with me. Part of the fact that we're individuals is that we can think the way we want and do what we want. We may not necessarily agree with someone's choice or think they're doing something good, but we're not responsible for them. Its not our job to police other people and their actions. Do you and what you think is right and let others do what they think is right.

We don't have to get all up in arms about other people's chocies and way of thinking. In the end, time will reveal all. In as much as we may want the best for our friends and the people around us, we're not responsible for them.

I don't know if you completely understand my point in this post cause it's something I'm struggling with myself but comment down below if you do! And i will see you guys hopefully soon!

Check out my Youtube Channel Here!
Love you xx

Go Hard For Yourself!

Hey Guys!
It's been the longest time ever and I apologize for that..there is no genuine excuse but I've been putting so much energy into my YouTube channel that the blog has taken a back seat but hopefully I'll be able to find a balance this year and should be able to get a blog out once every 2 weeks.

If you follow me on social media, you would've seen my posts about going hard for yourself this year and this is what this post will be about.

GO HARD FOR YOURSELF
EXPECT NO HANDOUTS
PROMOTE YOURSELF LIKE CRAZY
PUT YOURSELF IN THE DRIVING SEAT OF YOUR LIFE

These are the 4 key principles I plan to follow this year because what i realized especially in the latter part of last year is that the minute you take control of your destiny and start pushing yourself towards your success. That is the minute you become successful. There's no need depending on others and waiting on them to help you out, go out there and help yourself out! Nobody has time to go hard for you because they're too busy going hard for themselves. Nobody has time to promote you and take you where you need to be cause they're too busy driving themselves. Sure they can give you a hand every now and then but the bottom line is nobody knows what you want like you do and that ultimately means nobody knows best how to get it like YOU.

3 Lessons

1. Don't be afraid to promote yourself every chance you get! There's no use doing this great thing if nobody knows about it. The only way they are going to know about it is if you tell them. If there is an opportunity to promote your business, brand, idea or channel..TAKE IT!

2. If noone is willing to go with you? GO ON YOUR OWN! Sorry for the excessive use of capitals, I'm getting too passionate. But don't be reliant on other people to get you where you want to go. I've wanted to write a script for a long time but because everyone i partner with doesn't want it as much as me, i keep putting it off but that's to my own detriment. If I can't find someone to commit, why don't I commit myself?

3. Challenges are okay! Will you always succeed or become successful right away? You already know the answer is no so why get discouraged when you face a challenge. So what if the growth is small? At least you're still growing! If you only get one subscriber to your channel a day, at the end of the year you would have 366! If you're not stagnant then that means your moving and if you're moving then you will eventually get there.

Thank you guys so much for sticking around. Feel free to go over to my channel and see the 10 lessons I learnt in 2015. Just click Here!

Share this post! Comment down below and sign up to the subscription to be updated about my next posts. Love you guys and see you next time!

Face Your Demons Head On! #LifeLesson5

Hey Guys,

Hope your all doing well, if you follow me on YouTube you'll know a lot of my efforts have been directed there recently, and if you don't, you can check out my channel here! But don't worry I'm still very much on the Lifelessons! So without further ado let's explore what number 5 is:

Face Your Demons head on!
What I've come to realize in life is that there are two ways to deal with any problem you may have. The first is to hide from it, put it away from you and hope that it goes away and the second is to face it head on, take the pain that flows from it and defeat it. Both ways may work don't get me wrong, if you ignore something long enough, you may eventually develop a resilience to it. But is it really defeated?

What may at first appear as if you have overcome something merely because you have put it out of your mind may actually be that you have just masked it. Effectively you paused the feelings, the emotions, the breakdowns it causes rather than stop it. The risk then is that when you're faced with this problem at a later date, all the turmoil and heartache it once caused may come flowing back, sometimes even worse than the first time and then you have to being the process all over again.

You could choose to handle situations that way or you can choose the slightly but more effective option which is to tackle them head on. If you choose to confront your demons and face them every day, yes it will hurt at first, yes it will break you at first but not for long because eventually it loses its power over you. It loses it's ability to offend, upset, and hurt you.

The reasons why seeing something again after a long time hurts so much is that the memories come back to haunt you full force, but if you have dealt with your emotions one by one and reasoned it away, it wouldn't hurt you so much.

I know the post is a little cryptic and may be a little hard to pinpoint but I hope some of you got something from it.

Feel free to check out the other LifeLessons:
LifeLesson1: Click Here!
LifeLesson2: Click Here!
LifeLesson3: Click Here!
LifeLesson4: Click Here!

It's Not That Serious! #LifeLesson4

Hey Guys,

This is the fourth instalment in the #7Life Lessons posts I've been doing, but I'm actually enjoying this format so much, I'm thinking of just turning this blog into a LifeLessons forum lol. We'll see.

It's not that serious!

Do you find yourself sometime so deep in thought, so lost in a train of thought, that when you snap out of it, you're just like, why am I wasting time thinking about this, it's not even that serious? Yes? Well that's exactly what this post is about!

Too often in life, we waste time deliberating, weighing up, analysing, criticising, destructring, basically doing all sorts about situations which frankly don't need all of that. We dedicate so much time and mental energy to things that frankly won't matter in a few months, weeks or even days. We risk giving ourselves hypertension, depression and all other detrimental conditions by constantly dwelling on thoughts or situations that are just not that serious. Why?

I'm guilty of this myself. I'm the Analysation Queen (Nope, Analysation is not a word, Yep I'm going to use it anyway.) I can dissect the simplest thing someone says and end up getting a whole other conclusion from it. Generally I can go from point A to point Z in about 2.5 seconds and I just realised lately that it's not worth it. Half the time, I'm the only person thinking this deep and everyone else moved on a long time ago so really am I not just wasting my time?

Yes there are things you should give serious thought to, buying a house for example, picking your university degree, or other such things that change or impact your life greatly but as for the little  things? Don't stress them. Consider your options, make up your mind and just do it. It really won't matter in  few years time.

Check out the other LifeLessons so far:
LifeLesson1: Click Here!
LifeLesson2: Click Here!
LifeLesson3: Click Here!

Feel free to check out my Youtube Channel Here!

See you next time guys x

It's Okay To Fall Down #LifeLesson3

Hey Guys,

A good friend took me ice skating for the first time yesterday and I genuinely had an amazing time. I spent the 1st hour clinging desperately to the side of the rink but in the last 10 minutes I was skating completely unaided but still close to the side of course. Did I fall smack on my bum/face/hands/everywhere a couple of times? Yes! I did and a couple of little kids laughed at me. I don't blame them, I laughed at myself too. Did I keep bumping into people and getting evils from parents? Yes that also happened a few times more than I would have liked.

But the point is that I didn't really start to make progress until I became unafraid of falling. When falling no longer seemed that big a deal, I became more confident and took more risks. Which in turn gave me a greater chance of learning to skatw. The risk of falling is in every thing you do in life. If you try anything worth doing you stand the chance of failing at it. You might not like it but the quicker you accept it, the better  for you.

It's not whether you fall or not, because most likely the chances are you will, you can't help that. What you can help is whether you get back up and try again or give up and sit on the sidelines and watch other people achieve it. Did I feel embarrassed at having a large group of people see me Hi-5 the ice a few times? You already know the answer. But the embarrassment quickly dissipated when I learnt to laugh at myself and realised actually it's OKAY to fall down. It just means I'm getting closer to the goal.

Don't let your pride be the reason why you don't achieve. Fall down as many times as you need to just make sure you get back up!

Bee
xx

Check out Life lesson 1 here!
Check out Life lesson 2 here!

For my Vlogs and Videos- Check them out here!

Don't take it for granted! #LifeLesson2

Hey Guys,

Yes I know, I promised it would be a 7 day special then disappeared on the 1st day! Shame on me! Maybe it won't be everyday but I will definitely get to the 7 lessons lol. On that topic, if you haven't seen topic number one, you can check it out Here:

Today's lesson is about not taking things for granted. There are things that occur everyday that we take for granted because we don't work for it or do anything to bring it about. For example breathing, getting out of bed in the morning, sleeping etc. These are things we put no effort into doing yet achieve effortlessly. Consequently we end up taking these things for granted.  STOP!

When you find out you can no longer do these things is when you start to appreciate it and at this point it's too late. Recently I've been suffering a bout of insomnia and have not been able to sleep for God knows how long. I just stay awake thinking of the days when I would plop my head on the pillow and I'm gone. Take my word for it, you never know what you have until it's gone that's a fact.

So whether it be people, jobs, relationships, food or the basic things in life  you have come to expect, take time out to appreciate what you have because you never know when you just might lose it.

Bee
xx

PS: For Video advice and Rants from me, click Here!

Let Them Go! #LifeLesson1

Hey Guys!

It has been the longest time, I'm going to try and post a short excerpt everyday for the next week so a #7day Life Lessons kinda situation. Partly to make up for being away for so long and partly to get me back into the spirit of Blogging!

Let them Go!

Today's post is going to be really short and it's just to encourage you guys. When it comes  to relationships, friendships, partnerships, any kind of ships or boats (see what I did there), if the other party in the ship decides to leave. Let them go! You do not need to fight, struggle, beg, plead or persuade anybody to remain in your life. There is no need. I know you've heard it before but your destiny is not tied to anybody who decides to leave you. If a friend stops putting in effort to the relationship and you try to get it back and it doesn't work? Leave them. If a guy/girl your involves with suddenly decides you're not the one any more? Asta La vista.

Should you fight for what you want/love/believe in? Absolutely! But even the greatest fights only have 12 rounds. There comes a point where your fighting isn't doing anybody any good, most especially not you. That whole let them go and if they come back to you they're yours thing really applies here. Maybe they'll come back, maybe they won't and truly letting someone go means accepting the possibility that they won't and that's alright too. Situations like that tend to work out for the best. Yes you lost them, but most times you tend to get better.

So that's pretty much it! I told you I would keep it short! By God's grace, lesson number 2 will be up tomorrow. In the mean time feel free to check out my Youtube channel, which is where all my energy and time has been going into!
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCC9JtJa-GnrWhB58Kbhbe3g

Bee
x

Be Yourself! Learning to love who you are. (My Youtube channel)

Hey guys!
This is just a quick short post!

I recently got myself a good quality camera to be able to take good pictures for the blog and to better my youtube channel. I'm still learning but this is my first video. Make sure to check it out. Subscribe, like and comment.

Thanks for the support in advance. ;)

Don't take it Personally!

Hey Guys,

I feel like I'm forever apologising for being MIA but sorry for not posting in a while. I've been meaning to post as there are quite a few experiences to share with you. But this one first.

Don't take it personal! Ever! You're probably wondering what I'm on about now. What I mean is that sometimes in life you expect certain people to be there for you. You swear by anything that whatever happens they will always have your back and you convince yourself that they are the one person in the world that can never let you down. (ha!) That is the biggest mistake you can possibly make because nobody is perfect. As long as they're human beings, they will always let you down. Maybe intentionally, maybe accidentally. Maybe they're going through their own crap and don't even realise what you're going through. Whatever the reason, my advice to you is not to take it personally.

It's not always about you and if you get upset every time

someone you expect to be there for you isn't, you end up giving yourself high blood pressure or hypertension or whatever because you will constantly be disappointed. Just think to yourself whenever you're in that situation, no they wasn't there for me in this particular instance but does that erase all the times they have been there for you in the past, or the times they could be in the future. Because somebody lets you down now doesn't mean they don't care about you or that it was a direct attack to you. Sometimes the person just made a mistake. Let them know how you feel if it bothers you that much and move on with your life.

Lesson #2
Which brings me to my second lesson of the post which is that you should learn to be strong for yourself. Stop relying on other people to be there for you in difficult situations because as you seen, they aren't alwas there. Nobody can care about you in the way that you can care about yourself so stop expecting them to. If you need someone to hold you, hold yourself, if you need advice, advice yourself. Whatever you are looking for in someone else, I guarantee you can provide for yourself. It will save you a lot of heartache in the future.

Until next time,
Blessing xx

Life Reflections + My Birthday

Hey Guys,

Happy Belated birthday to me, 3rd of June is my birthday and I celebrated it with a couple of friends by going to Blackpool Pleasure beach where we spent the day. It was an amazing day and I really had fun, it is one of the simplest yet most fun birthday I have had in a while. But having reached a landmark age (at least in my opinion, a few of my friends disagree), I thought I'd do a few reflections on what I've learnt in my two decades on earth and what I hope to achieve.

Life:
Cliche as it may be, there's a quote that says ''If there's one thing I've learnt about life, it's that it goes on". Bearing this in mind, I keep trying not to take anything too personally. Life has a lot of things to throw at me, I can choose to dodge/cower or roll over and play dead at the slightest hit or I can take it head on and just deal with it. Some days I do feel like it's all too much, but recently I've come to realise that nothing in life is really that deep, and every problem seems better after a good nights sleep. In short, it is imperative to learn to embrace the things you cannot change.

Relationships:
 In the last 6 months leading up to my birthday, I've been in my first proper relationship and had my first proper heartbreak. Truth be sold, it sucks, it still sucks and it seems it may suck for a while still. But I know I definitely learnt a lot about myself as a person and a lot about how relationships work. I think the most important thing I've taken from my experiences so far is that you could be everything someone ever wanted and still not be enough. In terms of friendships and romantic liaisons, its important to remember that as long as I give my best, I'm not responsible nor can i control what others give me back.

With friends, I think its important not to have too high expectations of people, because people are people and they will often not be there for you when you need them or fall short of your expectations. All you can really do is look past their flaws and embrace those who truly care for you.

Academics:
My general experience with this is that you get what you give, when I study really hard and put my all into something, I tend to do really well in it and when I slack and don't do as much as I should, that is also reflected in the result. But sometimes that's not always the case and you may end up sometimes putting your all into something and getting a grade that is not reflective of the effort. But what this has taught me is that academic results are not the end of the world. They are undoubtedly important but there is so much more in this world and to your intellectual ability than just merely what a piece of paper says.

Others:
I think the one thing I've picked up about life is not to let fear ever held you back from anything.  If you really want something go and get it. This applies to YouTube, making friends etc, nothing is as scary as it seems and at the end of the day, what do you really have to lose? My greatest comfort has come from thinking,  the worst thing that could happen is that people say no. They can't kill me, or harm me, all they can say is no and in retrospect that's not really so bad.

So those are the titbits of wisdom I've learnt so far, I will also share with you 5 random goals I hope to achieve in this next year of my life and will come back in a year to see if I can cross them off:

1. Start (at the very least) writing a novel.
2. Reach 300 Subscribers on youtube.
3. Learn to sew a dress.
4. Travel outside of the country.
5. Volunteer and do something to help the needy.

Speaking of YouTube, I currently reached 100 Subscribers on my YouTube channel and would appreciate if you could show your support by liking, commenting and sharing my videos and if you haven't already, please subscribe to the channel:
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCC9JtJa-GnrWhB58Kbhbe3g

Until next time,
xxx

Learning to say NO! (Breaking the curse of the people pleaser)

Hey guys!

I'm back with a new post, and this one is titled learning to say no!
Now I am definitely a people pleaser, I can deny it all I want but it is evident that displeasing people makes me uncomfortable so even when it's not something i quite want to do I find myself going along with it just because i find saying no a bigger deal than it really is. consequently, I find myself in a lot of situations where I'm like 'what the hell am i doing here' 'this was a terrible idea' 'can I just sneak out'.

If you're a people pleaser as well, this will sound familiar. Well today I decided I'm going to break that habit and believe me you will too. Gone are the days when you will accept invitations/proposals out of fear of hurting the other persons feelings.

1. You have one life, it's yours not theirs so whatever choices you make in it are 100% yours. 
Nobody and I mean nobody has a right to make your life choices for you, unless you're making theirs for them which as a people pleaser i highly doubt you are. Do you want to spend most of your life regretting doing things you never wanted to do? No you don't, so don't do things you never wanted to do.

2. It's not rude to say NO!
often times you may get scared that saying no may come across as rude, but trust me it really isn't. you only have 24 hours in a day, at least 6 of those are spent with you sleeping, you simply don't have the time to take on commitments you're not committed to. A reasonable person would understand this. As long as you decline politely, it is not rude and they will respect you more for having a plan to which you stick to.

3. Recognise that sometimes people will try to manipulate you.
There are people who when they become aware that you always say yes, will always use this to their advantage even if it's to your detriment. Weed this people out and make a point of saying no to them. People who always ask you for things aren't necessarily bad or selfish people, they're just people with their own best interests at heart. so why don't you reciprocate and have your own best interests too.

4. Be firm!
Don't say maybe when you really mean no,all that does is prolong the disappointment period. Don't say yes then later just disappear, it makes you look unreliable and flaky. Do not leave any room for them to try and change your mind, if you say 'I'm sorry I'm busy this week', they could then suggest next week. if its something you really don't want to do, don't leave gaps for them to change your mind. state firmly then apologise.


5. Basically remember its your life and you will have to live whatever consequences may arise. It's okay to be a little selfish sometimes. ask yourself these questions if you're ever indecisive:
-am I actually the best person to do this job?
-do I actually have time to do this or will I be sacrificing something important to me?
-does this add any value to my life?

If the answer to all three is no, then repeat that same answer to the person asking,

Make sure you comment and share the post and make sure you subscribe to the Blog.

Until next time,
Blessing
xxxx

Regrets, Regrets, Regrets! Dealing with Regret!

Firstly let me apologise for my MIA  movements, I have been away too long I'm aware, but I'm hopefully back now Got a Jollof rice recipe coming up and a belated Easter post but before all of that, I wanted to make a quick post about something that's been hitting very close to home recently.




Regrets! I think this is one of the most common issues  people have to deal with and it's something I've had to deal with this past couple of weeks. Sometimes in life you do something that you wish with all your might that you could take back, something you regret and wish you hadn't done. It can range from a small thing like lying to a friend, to cheating to quitting your job to something big like killing someone. (I really hope you didn't kill anyone.) But you get the gist, some actions you take in life are irreversible and you will forever be forced to live with their consequences.

Herego, the situation I'm in now. But in the midst of my revelry( I hope I used that word right) and wallowing and wishing I could take back what I did, I came up with some thoughts that really helped me through and made me feel better about dealing with the Regrets. So I thought I would share them with you.

1. It's okay to mess up.
You're a human being and naturally by nature, human beings are fallible. You will make plenty of mistakes in your lifetime. I'm sure this wasn't the first time and believe me when I tell you it won't be the last time either, try not to beat yourself up too much.

2. Whatever was meant to happen, happened.
As Cliché as it may be, everything genuinely does happen for a reason, Nothing ever happens that wasn't supposed to, I can't tell you the reason why and you may actually never know the reason. As a matter of fact, the reason may just be that you were stupid and made a mistake but that in itself is a reason.

3. You can always learn from it.
Back to my 'big regret' again. When I got past all the being upset and what not, I actually realised that I have definitely learnt from this experience and it has definitely made me wiser for the future. Mistakes and regrets are definitely one way in which we learn, a brutal way, I'll give you that, but by God do we learn.

There are many more words I could tell you but ultimately you just have to pick yourself up and deal with the fact that what's done is done. You cannot rewind time nor sumo-dive back into the past. So leave the past where it belongs and focus on making better decisions tomorrow.

And remember, that you are never alone. Make  sure you talk to someone, nothing brought me out of the misery I was in quicker than having friends who care so much about me there to support and encourage me.

Until next time...
Blessing
xxx

Perfect Imperfections- It's okay to be 'Messed up'

Hey Guys,

Happy belated valentines day...I hope you had a great time, I know I certainly did. But in the spirit of relationships, it got me thinking.

There's a certain someone I was seeing and when I was getting to know them, I kept finding out all these things about them and their past and I remember my first thought being 'Damn, they've got a lot of baggage, can I handle that?' And it did genuinely occur to me that maybe I was better off without this person;s drama.

Then I took a step back and thought but wait a minute..I'm not perfect myself! I have a past, especially ones that make me put up walls and guards and push people away even when their intentions are good. I have attitudes and behaviours that make it hard to get to me. If someone can look past all of my 'baggage' and willing make an attempt to get to know me, who am I to write someone off because of theirs.

Basically, no one is perfect, no one comes into our lives free from strings of past attachments, or emotional drama or problems. Everyone has some issues they;re dealing with, granted some people more than others and maybe some people know how to hide it more than others. Nevertheless the fact that someone has baggage doesn't mean your relationship need be any less amazing. Sometimes broken pieces can fit perfectly.

Maybe you're that someone that person needs, the ray of sunshine in their otherwise dreary life, maybe the both of you coming together can lift some of the baggage from them and make their lives happier and freer. The point is you never know until you look past your judgemental attitude and give them a chance.

The next time you're tempted to say 'They've got too much baggage, think to yourself, Am I really perfect myself?

After all We;re all a little messed up...That's the joy of life. If we were all perfect and there was nothing wrong with us, life would be a whole lot easier but way more boring. It;s the messed up part of us that makes life more interesting

and fulfilling.

The 'I don't want a relationship' excuse AKA The Commitment Phobe

Hey Guys!

So I'm back on youtubing again!!! I started it way back when but just got lazy cause it requires so much effort but as part of my NY resolution, I'm back and I've already posted a new video. I'll leave the link below and make sure to check me out. Like, comment and subscribe.

So, we all know that guy/girl right, you're seeing them, everything is going well, you think this could be going somewhere, then they drop that 'I'm just not ready for a relationship' line. This line can come in various forms, for example:

I don't want a relationship right now...if I did, it would deffo be with you, I just don't.

I'm too busy with school/work/mymusic, and a relationship would distract me

I'm still hurting from my last relationship (this was about 2 years ago) and I don't want to jump in another one.

It doesn't matter how it's phrased, the bottom line is the person wants to have the benefits of a relationship with you but they don't want to be in a relationship with you. What do I advice?

RUN! RUN NOW! Don't put on your shoes, don't take your bag, just run. Only 1 in 35 people who use this excuse mean it. (I made that up but still), the other 34 are selling you dreams.  (Lying). Men are hunters by nature, when they see something, they go for it, they won't waste time faffing around because he won't want anyone to get a chance to have you. Work is not an excuse because nobody works 24/7, past relationships are not good enough if there has been sufficient time between them.

Girls also know what they want, and they wont play around with a guy that they want because they know there are plenty single girls out there waiting to take him so if she's claiming she's not ready, boy RUN!

When they're saying I don't want a relationship, what they really mean, is I don't want a relationship with YOU, trust me when someone meets someone they REALLY like, they will not hesitate in cuffing them immediately. Don't be the girl/guy who stuck around and waited for someone to be ready just to find out he met someone he finally decided he could commit to and asked her out straight away.

If someone says they have a fear of commitment, do this simple test to see if it's really true:

1. Do they have a phone contract (that about 2 yearsthere) if he can enter a 2 year commitment then why cant he commit to you? He doesn't want to!
2. Does he support a football team. Football fans are LOYAL! their team will lose every game of the season and they'll still be loyal. He has the ability to commit. just not to you.

Just remember Beyonce, Obama, Chris Brown all have 'busy' lives and they can still manage to find time to be in a relationship so what position exactly does this guy/girl hold? My dear don't be a learner!

Ofc these are my opinions based on my experiences and you may have a different view so feel free to comment below and tell me what you think.

Youtube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCC9JtJa-GnrWhB58Kbhbe3g

Why making people jealous never really works!

Hey Guys,

So I'm going to tell you a short story:

There was a girl and a boy, they liked each other,

started getting to know each other and started seeing each other,

one day they were together in a big group of friends,

Their relationship wasn't official yet so the guy didn't show any affection towards her,

he treated her like every other girl in the room,

she didn't like this so went to her room with his friend to talk,

it was purely friendly and their conversation was platonic

but she knew in the back of her mind, he would be disturbed.

When they came downstairs, she could see he was miffed,

but she acted cool, as if nothing was amiss,

he acted cool too and they started speaking again.

Only for her to find him being inappropriate with another girl,

she told him what she had saw and he reminded her she had just been upstairs with his friend,

making her think he wanted her to see him with another girl and feel the way he previously felt. 

In order to get back at him, she called another guy in his earshot

laughing and giggling, making his head turn.

The next time they went out as a group, he kissed another girl,

Right in front of her, he made the girl twirl.

Humiliated and embarrassed, the girl vowed she was done.

Believing he had only wanted her for fun.

Their relationship deteriorated and what was once sweet, became bitter. 

There is a break in the story because everything after that break was fictitious, everything before it are true life events. I put the fictitious paragraph in to tell you how quickly something that started off platonic and harmless could escalate in you losing the chance to have something real.

When you try to make people jealous, it doesn't work because 9 times out of 10 (made up statistic), they only try to make you jealous too and so the cycle begins until one of you ends up going too far and hurting the other person. Pride then kicks in, preventing you from addressing the original situation. 

You end up playing the blame game, you did this, yes because you did this, yes but that was only because you did this. When you could've spent all that time you spent arguing, being with each other. Of course there is also the possibility that the person doesn't even get jealous and instead just decides you're not worth it. In which case you find yourself in a lose-lose situation.

The point of the post? When you feel the urge to make someone jealous, think to yourself 'is it really worth it? If he retaliated, would I be able to handle it or would it hurt me more than I would be willing to admit? If you're the one on the receiving ends of these antics, rather than retaliate, why not tackle them first and let them know what they did wasn't right?

Comment below what you think and don't forget to share and subscribe.

Remember to Guard your heart Guys!

A Thin Line Between Love and Hate!

Hey Guys!

So me and my house mate decided to watch a movie yesterday and she chose the movie 'A thin line between love and hate' featuring Martin Lawrence as  the main lead. (SPOILER ALERT)

A quick synopsis of the movie is that Lawrence is a player and he has many girls none of which he's particularly committed to. but he has a childhood friend that appears to be some sort of romantic interest. One day him and his friends sees a beautiful woman and they bet that he couldn't sleep with her. ($20- really??). Anyway, he keeps trying but it's clear she has issues so he pretends to lose interest, so she calls him back and tells him that she can't get hurt again and that can she trust him and does he love her? He says yes and makes her believe he's here to stay. Half way through she tells him she killed her ex-husband because he was abusive and rather than run for the hills like a normal human, he decides to stay and continue his nefarious antics. The next day she takes him shopping, buys him a new car, new clothes and tells him to come for dinner cause it's her birthday, rather than do this, he proclaims his love for his childhood friend, They spend the night together and he wakes up to find a cake with a knife with it outside the door. Long story short, they go on a crazy whirlwind where she almost kills him and the rest of the cast ofthe movie.

I know my brief description wasn't that brief, but here's the point of this post.
1. It is undeniable that she had some strong psychological issues but I will never understand how he could possibly think nothing was going to come of the way he treated her. You CHASED her for weeks, MADE her fall for you, made her trust you, sleep with her then turn around and decide now you wanna be serious with someone else then you wonder why they hell she went crazy. In my opinion that was HIS fault. She gave him a warning. How can someone tell you they killed their ex-husband and you stay in their bed? How is that normal? Where are your survival instincts?

2. In the end, they were thanking God for him having survived and making her out like she was wrong all along. But I personally think, what he did was GRAVELY  wrong, why should he not only not have to pay any consequences for it but also get the girl of his dreams. She did nothing but mind her business, yet he shattered her world with a bag of lies but in the end, she lost everything and the movie made it seem like Lawrence was the hero in all of this.

3. It took her having a gun to his head for him to finally apologise for the disgusting way in which he treated her. He didn't apologise when he told her he didn't want her, he didn't apologise when she saw him with someone else. He was just going to up and leave out of a psychotic woman's life. Rookie Mistake. The least he could have done was say the words sorry and the fact that he didn't think to do that till she almost blew his head off just added salt to injury.

My main point is so many Guys nowadays are walking around with this Martin Lawrence attitude. Treating girls anyhow and thinking ahh well, they'll be just fine. If they're not careful, they may just end up with a reality check like this crazy woman.

Leave your comments below,
What is your opinion?