Hey Guys,
I know what you're going to say, where the hell have i been? That's a good question but we don't have time to get into it on this post! I also have a stir fry recipe coming up for you but in the meantime, i wanted to come and quickly talk about what's been on my mind for a while.
Lately I've found myself being super concerned with other people and the choices they make with their lives. If someone claims they're a christian but their actions and words don't really display such i get super concerned and start trying to figure out why, or if someone does or believes something that i absolutely strongly disagree with, i ponder about it for a long time wondering why? But I recently realized that It's none of my damn business! People are free to think and do whatever the hell they please, it has nothing to do with me. Part of the fact that we're individuals is that we can think the way we want and do what we want. We may not necessarily agree with someone's choice or think they're doing something good, but we're not responsible for them. Its not our job to police other people and their actions. Do you and what you think is right and let others do what they think is right.
We don't have to get all up in arms about other people's chocies and way of thinking. In the end, time will reveal all. In as much as we may want the best for our friends and the people around us, we're not responsible for them.
I don't know if you completely understand my point in this post cause it's something I'm struggling with myself but comment down below if you do! And i will see you guys hopefully soon!
Check out my Youtube Channel Here!
Love you xx
Showing posts with label Relationships. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Relationships. Show all posts
Friday, 15 April 2016
Monday, 5 October 2015
Face Your Demons Head On! #LifeLesson5
Hey Guys,
Hope your all doing well, if you follow me on YouTube you'll know a lot of my efforts have been directed there recently, and if you don't, you can check out my channel here! But don't worry I'm still very much on the Lifelessons! So without further ado let's explore what number 5 is:
Face Your Demons head on!
What I've come to realize in life is that there are two ways to deal with any problem you may have. The first is to hide from it, put it away from you and hope that it goes away and the second is to face it head on, take the pain that flows from it and defeat it. Both ways may work don't get me wrong, if you ignore something long enough, you may eventually develop a resilience to it. But is it really defeated?
What may at first appear as if you have overcome something merely because you have put it out of your mind may actually be that you have just masked it. Effectively you paused the feelings, the emotions, the breakdowns it causes rather than stop it. The risk then is that when you're faced with this problem at a later date, all the turmoil and heartache it once caused may come flowing back, sometimes even worse than the first time and then you have to being the process all over again.
You could choose to handle situations that way or you can choose the slightly but more effective option which is to tackle them head on. If you choose to confront your demons and face them every day, yes it will hurt at first, yes it will break you at first but not for long because eventually it loses its power over you. It loses it's ability to offend, upset, and hurt you.
The reasons why seeing something again after a long time hurts so much is that the memories come back to haunt you full force, but if you have dealt with your emotions one by one and reasoned it away, it wouldn't hurt you so much.
I know the post is a little cryptic and may be a little hard to pinpoint but I hope some of you got something from it.
Feel free to check out the other LifeLessons:
LifeLesson1: Click Here!
LifeLesson2: Click Here!
LifeLesson3: Click Here!
LifeLesson4: Click Here!
Hope your all doing well, if you follow me on YouTube you'll know a lot of my efforts have been directed there recently, and if you don't, you can check out my channel here! But don't worry I'm still very much on the Lifelessons! So without further ado let's explore what number 5 is:
Face Your Demons head on!
What I've come to realize in life is that there are two ways to deal with any problem you may have. The first is to hide from it, put it away from you and hope that it goes away and the second is to face it head on, take the pain that flows from it and defeat it. Both ways may work don't get me wrong, if you ignore something long enough, you may eventually develop a resilience to it. But is it really defeated?
What may at first appear as if you have overcome something merely because you have put it out of your mind may actually be that you have just masked it. Effectively you paused the feelings, the emotions, the breakdowns it causes rather than stop it. The risk then is that when you're faced with this problem at a later date, all the turmoil and heartache it once caused may come flowing back, sometimes even worse than the first time and then you have to being the process all over again.
You could choose to handle situations that way or you can choose the slightly but more effective option which is to tackle them head on. If you choose to confront your demons and face them every day, yes it will hurt at first, yes it will break you at first but not for long because eventually it loses its power over you. It loses it's ability to offend, upset, and hurt you.
The reasons why seeing something again after a long time hurts so much is that the memories come back to haunt you full force, but if you have dealt with your emotions one by one and reasoned it away, it wouldn't hurt you so much.
I know the post is a little cryptic and may be a little hard to pinpoint but I hope some of you got something from it.
Feel free to check out the other LifeLessons:
LifeLesson1: Click Here!
LifeLesson2: Click Here!
LifeLesson3: Click Here!
LifeLesson4: Click Here!
Thursday, 16 July 2015
Don't take it Personally!
Hey Guys,I feel like I'm forever apologising for being MIA but sorry for not posting in a while. I've been meaning to post as there are quite a few experiences to share with you. But this one first.
Don't take it personal! Ever! You're probably wondering what I'm on about now. What I mean is that sometimes in life you expect certain people to be there for you. You swear by anything that whatever happens they will always have your back and you convince yourself that they are the one person in the world that can never let you down. (ha!) That is the biggest mistake you can possibly make because nobody is perfect. As long as they're human beings, they will always let you down. Maybe intentionally, maybe accidentally. Maybe they're going through their own crap and don't even realise what you're going through. Whatever the reason, my advice to you is not to take it personally.
It's not always about you and if you get upset every time
someone you expect to be there for you isn't, you end up giving yourself high blood pressure or hypertension or whatever because you will constantly be disappointed. Just think to yourself whenever you're in that situation, no they wasn't there for me in this particular instance but does that erase all the times they have been there for you in the past, or the times they could be in the future. Because somebody lets you down now doesn't mean they don't care about you or that it was a direct attack to you. Sometimes the person just made a mistake. Let them know how you feel if it bothers you that much and move on with your life.Lesson #2
Which brings me to my second lesson of the post which is that you should learn to be strong for yourself. Stop relying on other people to be there for you in difficult situations because as you seen, they aren't alwas there. Nobody can care about you in the way that you can care about yourself so stop expecting them to. If you need someone to hold you, hold yourself, if you need advice, advice yourself. Whatever you are looking for in someone else, I guarantee you can provide for yourself. It will save you a lot of heartache in the future.
Until next time,
Blessing xx
Wednesday, 3 June 2015
Life Reflections + My Birthday
Hey Guys,
Happy Belated birthday to me, 3rd of June is my birthday and I celebrated it with a couple of friends by going to Blackpool Pleasure beach where we spent the day. It was an amazing day and I really had fun, it is one of the simplest yet most fun birthday I have had in a while. But having reached a landmark age (at least in my opinion, a few of my friends disagree), I thought I'd do a few reflections on what I've learnt in my two decades on earth and what I hope to achieve.
Life:
Cliche as it may be, there's a quote that says ''If there's one thing I've learnt about life, it's that it goes on". Bearing this in mind, I keep trying not to take anything too personally. Life has a lot of things to throw at me, I can choose to dodge/cower or roll over and play dead at the slightest hit or I can take it head on and just deal with it. Some days I do feel like it's all too much, but recently I've come to realise that nothing in life is really that deep, and every problem seems better after a good nights sleep. In short, it is imperative to learn to embrace the things you cannot change.
Relationships:
In the last 6 months leading up to my birthday, I've been in my first proper relationship and had my first proper heartbreak. Truth be sold, it sucks, it still sucks and it seems it may suck for a while still. But I know I definitely learnt a lot about myself as a person and a lot about how relationships work. I think the most important thing I've taken from my experiences so far is that you could be everything someone ever wanted and still not be enough. In terms of friendships and romantic liaisons, its important to remember that as long as I give my best, I'm not responsible nor can i control what others give me back.
With friends, I think its important not to have too high expectations of people, because people are people and they will often not be there for you when you need them or fall short of your expectations. All you can really do is look past their flaws and embrace those who truly care for you.
Academics:
My general experience with this is that you get what you give, when I study really hard and put my all into something, I tend to do really well in it and when I slack and don't do as much as I should, that is also reflected in the result. But sometimes that's not always the case and you may end up sometimes putting your all into something and getting a grade that is not reflective of the effort. But what this has taught me is that academic results are not the end of the world. They are undoubtedly important but there is so much more in this world and to your intellectual ability than just merely what a piece of paper says.
Others:
I think the one thing I've picked up about life is not to let fear ever held you back from anything. If you really want something go and get it. This applies to YouTube, making friends etc, nothing is as scary as it seems and at the end of the day, what do you really have to lose? My greatest comfort has come from thinking, the worst thing that could happen is that people say no. They can't kill me, or harm me, all they can say is no and in retrospect that's not really so bad.
So those are the titbits of wisdom I've learnt so far, I will also share with you 5 random goals I hope to achieve in this next year of my life and will come back in a year to see if I can cross them off:
1. Start (at the very least) writing a novel.
2. Reach 300 Subscribers on youtube.
3. Learn to sew a dress.
4. Travel outside of the country.
5. Volunteer and do something to help the needy.
Speaking of YouTube, I currently reached 100 Subscribers on my YouTube channel and would appreciate if you could show your support by liking, commenting and sharing my videos and if you haven't already, please subscribe to the channel:
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCC9JtJa-GnrWhB58Kbhbe3g
Until next time,
xxx
Happy Belated birthday to me, 3rd of June is my birthday and I celebrated it with a couple of friends by going to Blackpool Pleasure beach where we spent the day. It was an amazing day and I really had fun, it is one of the simplest yet most fun birthday I have had in a while. But having reached a landmark age (at least in my opinion, a few of my friends disagree), I thought I'd do a few reflections on what I've learnt in my two decades on earth and what I hope to achieve.
Life:
Cliche as it may be, there's a quote that says ''If there's one thing I've learnt about life, it's that it goes on". Bearing this in mind, I keep trying not to take anything too personally. Life has a lot of things to throw at me, I can choose to dodge/cower or roll over and play dead at the slightest hit or I can take it head on and just deal with it. Some days I do feel like it's all too much, but recently I've come to realise that nothing in life is really that deep, and every problem seems better after a good nights sleep. In short, it is imperative to learn to embrace the things you cannot change.
Relationships:
In the last 6 months leading up to my birthday, I've been in my first proper relationship and had my first proper heartbreak. Truth be sold, it sucks, it still sucks and it seems it may suck for a while still. But I know I definitely learnt a lot about myself as a person and a lot about how relationships work. I think the most important thing I've taken from my experiences so far is that you could be everything someone ever wanted and still not be enough. In terms of friendships and romantic liaisons, its important to remember that as long as I give my best, I'm not responsible nor can i control what others give me back.
With friends, I think its important not to have too high expectations of people, because people are people and they will often not be there for you when you need them or fall short of your expectations. All you can really do is look past their flaws and embrace those who truly care for you.
Academics:
My general experience with this is that you get what you give, when I study really hard and put my all into something, I tend to do really well in it and when I slack and don't do as much as I should, that is also reflected in the result. But sometimes that's not always the case and you may end up sometimes putting your all into something and getting a grade that is not reflective of the effort. But what this has taught me is that academic results are not the end of the world. They are undoubtedly important but there is so much more in this world and to your intellectual ability than just merely what a piece of paper says.
Others:
I think the one thing I've picked up about life is not to let fear ever held you back from anything. If you really want something go and get it. This applies to YouTube, making friends etc, nothing is as scary as it seems and at the end of the day, what do you really have to lose? My greatest comfort has come from thinking, the worst thing that could happen is that people say no. They can't kill me, or harm me, all they can say is no and in retrospect that's not really so bad.
So those are the titbits of wisdom I've learnt so far, I will also share with you 5 random goals I hope to achieve in this next year of my life and will come back in a year to see if I can cross them off:
1. Start (at the very least) writing a novel.
2. Reach 300 Subscribers on youtube.
3. Learn to sew a dress.
4. Travel outside of the country.
5. Volunteer and do something to help the needy.
Speaking of YouTube, I currently reached 100 Subscribers on my YouTube channel and would appreciate if you could show your support by liking, commenting and sharing my videos and if you haven't already, please subscribe to the channel:
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCC9JtJa-GnrWhB58Kbhbe3g
Until next time,
xxx
Sunday, 22 February 2015
Perfect Imperfections- It's okay to be 'Messed up'
Hey Guys,
Happy belated valentines day...I hope you had a great time, I know I certainly did. But in the spirit of relationships, it got me thinking.
There's a certain someone I was seeing and when I was getting to know them, I kept finding out all these things about them and their past and I remember my first thought being 'Damn, they've got a lot of baggage, can I handle that?' And it did genuinely occur to me that maybe I was better off without this person;s drama.
Then I took a step back and thought but wait a minute..I'm not perfect myself! I have a past, especially ones that make me put up walls and guards and push people away even when their intentions are good. I have attitudes and behaviours that make it hard to get to me. If someone can look past all of my 'baggage' and willing make an attempt to get to know me, who am I to write someone off because of theirs.
Basically, no one is perfect, no one comes into our lives free from strings of past attachments, or emotional drama or problems. Everyone has some issues they;re dealing with, granted some people more than others and maybe some people know how to hide it more than others. Nevertheless the fact that someone has baggage doesn't mean your relationship need be any less amazing. Sometimes broken pieces can fit perfectly.
Maybe you're that someone that person needs, the ray of sunshine in their otherwise dreary life, maybe the both of you coming together can lift some of the baggage from them and make their lives happier and freer. The point is you never know until you look past your judgemental attitude and give them a chance.
The next time you're tempted to say 'They've got too much baggage, think to yourself, Am I really perfect myself?
After all We;re all a little messed up...That's the joy of life. If we were all perfect and there was nothing wrong with us, life would be a whole lot easier but way more boring. It;s the messed up part of us that makes life more interesting
and fulfilling.
Happy belated valentines day...I hope you had a great time, I know I certainly did. But in the spirit of relationships, it got me thinking.
There's a certain someone I was seeing and when I was getting to know them, I kept finding out all these things about them and their past and I remember my first thought being 'Damn, they've got a lot of baggage, can I handle that?' And it did genuinely occur to me that maybe I was better off without this person;s drama.
Then I took a step back and thought but wait a minute..I'm not perfect myself! I have a past, especially ones that make me put up walls and guards and push people away even when their intentions are good. I have attitudes and behaviours that make it hard to get to me. If someone can look past all of my 'baggage' and willing make an attempt to get to know me, who am I to write someone off because of theirs.
Basically, no one is perfect, no one comes into our lives free from strings of past attachments, or emotional drama or problems. Everyone has some issues they;re dealing with, granted some people more than others and maybe some people know how to hide it more than others. Nevertheless the fact that someone has baggage doesn't mean your relationship need be any less amazing. Sometimes broken pieces can fit perfectly.
Maybe you're that someone that person needs, the ray of sunshine in their otherwise dreary life, maybe the both of you coming together can lift some of the baggage from them and make their lives happier and freer. The point is you never know until you look past your judgemental attitude and give them a chance.
The next time you're tempted to say 'They've got too much baggage, think to yourself, Am I really perfect myself?
After all We;re all a little messed up...That's the joy of life. If we were all perfect and there was nothing wrong with us, life would be a whole lot easier but way more boring. It;s the messed up part of us that makes life more interesting
Tuesday, 27 January 2015
The 'I don't want a relationship' excuse AKA The Commitment Phobe
Hey Guys!
So I'm back on youtubing again!!! I started it way back when but just got lazy cause it requires so much effort but as part of my NY resolution, I'm back and I've already posted a new video. I'll leave the link below and make sure to check me out. Like, comment and subscribe.
So, we all know that guy/girl right, you're seeing them, everything is going well, you think this could be going somewhere, then they drop that 'I'm just not ready for a relationship' line. This line can come in various forms, for example:
I don't want a relationship right now...if I did, it would deffo be with you, I just don't.
I'm too busy with school/work/mymusic, and a relationship would distract me
I'm still hurting from my last relationship (this was about 2 years ago) and I don't want to jump in another one.
It doesn't matter how it's phrased, the bottom line is the person wants to have the benefits of a relationship with you but they don't want to be in a relationship with you. What do I advice?
RUN! RUN NOW! Don't put on your shoes, don't take your bag, just run. Only 1 in 35 people who use this excuse mean it. (I made that up but still), the other 34 are selling you dreams. (Lying). Men are hunters by nature, when they see something, they go for it, they won't waste time faffing around because he won't want anyone to get a chance to have you. Work is not an excuse because nobody works 24/7, past relationships are not good enough if there has been sufficient time between them.
Girls also know what they want, and they wont play around with a guy that they want because they know there are plenty single girls out there waiting to take him so if she's claiming she's not ready, boy RUN!
When they're saying I don't want a relationship, what they really mean, is I don't want a relationship with YOU, trust me when someone meets someone they REALLY like, they will not hesitate in cuffing them immediately. Don't be the girl/guy who stuck around and waited for someone to be ready just to find out he met someone he finally decided he could commit to and asked her out straight away.
If someone says they have a fear of commitment, do this simple test to see if it's really true:
1. Do they have a phone contract (that about 2 yearsthere) if he can enter a 2 year commitment then why cant he commit to you? He doesn't want to!
2. Does he support a football team. Football fans are LOYAL! their team will lose every game of the season and they'll still be loyal. He has the ability to commit. just not to you.
2. Does he support a football team. Football fans are LOYAL! their team will lose every game of the season and they'll still be loyal. He has the ability to commit. just not to you.
Just remember Beyonce, Obama, Chris Brown all have 'busy' lives and they can still manage to find time to be in a relationship so what position exactly does this guy/girl hold? My dear don't be a learner!
Ofc these are my opinions based on my experiences and you may have a different view so feel free to comment below and tell me what you think.
Youtube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCC9JtJa-GnrWhB58Kbhbe3g
Saturday, 17 January 2015
Why making people jealous never really works!
Hey Guys,
So I'm going to tell you a short story:
There was a girl and a boy, they liked each other,
started getting to know each other and started seeing each other,
one day they were together in a big group of friends,
Their relationship wasn't official yet so the guy didn't show any affection towards her,
he treated her like every other girl in the room,
she didn't like this so went to her room with his friend to talk,
it was purely friendly and their conversation was platonic
but she knew in the back of her mind, he would be disturbed.
When they came downstairs, she could see he was miffed,
but she acted cool, as if nothing was amiss,
he acted cool too and they started speaking again.
Only for her to find him being inappropriate with another girl,
she told him what she had saw and he reminded her she had just been upstairs with his friend,
making her think he wanted her to see him with another girl and feel the way he previously felt.
In order to get back at him, she called another guy in his earshot
laughing and giggling, making his head turn.
The next time they went out as a group, he kissed another girl,
Right in front of her, he made the girl twirl.
Humiliated and embarrassed, the girl vowed she was done.
Believing he had only wanted her for fun.
Their relationship deteriorated and what was once sweet, became bitter.
There is a break in the story because everything after that break was fictitious, everything before it are true life events. I put the fictitious paragraph in to tell you how quickly something that started off platonic and harmless could escalate in you losing the chance to have something real.
When you try to make people jealous, it doesn't work because 9 times out of 10 (made up statistic), they only try to make you jealous too and so the cycle begins until one of you ends up going too far and hurting the other person. Pride then kicks in, preventing you from addressing the original situation.
You end up playing the blame game, you did this, yes because you did this, yes but that was only because you did this. When you could've spent all that time you spent arguing, being with each other. Of course there is also the possibility that the person doesn't even get jealous and instead just decides you're not worth it. In which case you find yourself in a lose-lose situation.
The point of the post? When you feel the urge to make someone jealous, think to yourself 'is it really worth it? If he retaliated, would I be able to handle it or would it hurt me more than I would be willing to admit? If you're the one on the receiving ends of these antics, rather than retaliate, why not tackle them first and let them know what they did wasn't right?
Comment below what you think and don't forget to share and subscribe.
Remember to Guard your heart Guys!
Tuesday, 13 January 2015
A Thin Line Between Love and Hate!
Hey Guys!
So me and my house mate decided to watch a movie yesterday and she chose the movie 'A thin line between love and hate' featuring Martin Lawrence as the main lead. (SPOILER ALERT)
A quick synopsis of the movie is that Lawrence is a player and he has many girls none of which he's particularly committed to. but he has a childhood friend that appears to be some sort of romantic interest. One day him and his friends sees a beautiful woman and they bet that he couldn't sleep with her. ($20- really??). Anyway, he keeps trying but it's clear she has issues so he pretends to lose interest, so she calls him back and tells him that she can't get hurt again and that can she trust him and does he love her? He says yes and makes her believe he's here to stay. Half way through she tells him she killed her ex-husband because he was abusive and rather than run for the hills like a normal human, he decides to stay and continue his nefarious antics. The next day she takes him shopping, buys him a new car, new clothes and tells him to come for dinner cause it's her birthday, rather than do this, he proclaims his love for his childhood friend, They spend the night together and he wakes up to find a cake with a knife with it outside the door. Long story short, they go on a crazy whirlwind where she almost kills him and the rest of the cast ofthe movie.
I know my brief description wasn't that brief, but here's the point of this post.
1. It is undeniable that she had some strong psychological issues but I will never understand how he could possibly think nothing was going to come of the way he treated her. You CHASED her for weeks, MADE her fall for you, made her trust you, sleep with her then turn around and decide now you wanna be serious with someone else then you wonder why they hell she went crazy. In my opinion that was HIS fault. She gave him a warning. How can someone tell you they killed their ex-husband and you stay in their bed? How is that normal? Where are your survival instincts?
2. In the end, they were thanking God for him having survived and making her out like she was wrong all along. But I personally think, what he did was GRAVELY wrong, why should he not only not have to pay any consequences for it but also get the girl of his dreams. She did nothing but mind her business, yet he shattered her world with a bag of lies but in the end, she lost everything and the movie made it seem like Lawrence was the hero in all of this.
3. It took her having a gun to his head for him to finally apologise for the disgusting way in which he treated her. He didn't apologise when he told her he didn't want her, he didn't apologise when she saw him with someone else. He was just going to up and leave out of a psychotic woman's life. Rookie Mistake. The least he could have done was say the words sorry and the fact that he didn't think to do that till she almost blew his head off just added salt to injury.
My main point is so many Guys nowadays are walking around with this Martin Lawrence attitude. Treating girls anyhow and thinking ahh well, they'll be just fine. If they're not careful, they may just end up with a reality check like this crazy woman.
Leave your comments below,
What is your opinion?
So me and my house mate decided to watch a movie yesterday and she chose the movie 'A thin line between love and hate' featuring Martin Lawrence as the main lead. (SPOILER ALERT)
A quick synopsis of the movie is that Lawrence is a player and he has many girls none of which he's particularly committed to. but he has a childhood friend that appears to be some sort of romantic interest. One day him and his friends sees a beautiful woman and they bet that he couldn't sleep with her. ($20- really??). Anyway, he keeps trying but it's clear she has issues so he pretends to lose interest, so she calls him back and tells him that she can't get hurt again and that can she trust him and does he love her? He says yes and makes her believe he's here to stay. Half way through she tells him she killed her ex-husband because he was abusive and rather than run for the hills like a normal human, he decides to stay and continue his nefarious antics. The next day she takes him shopping, buys him a new car, new clothes and tells him to come for dinner cause it's her birthday, rather than do this, he proclaims his love for his childhood friend, They spend the night together and he wakes up to find a cake with a knife with it outside the door. Long story short, they go on a crazy whirlwind where she almost kills him and the rest of the cast ofthe movie.
I know my brief description wasn't that brief, but here's the point of this post.
1. It is undeniable that she had some strong psychological issues but I will never understand how he could possibly think nothing was going to come of the way he treated her. You CHASED her for weeks, MADE her fall for you, made her trust you, sleep with her then turn around and decide now you wanna be serious with someone else then you wonder why they hell she went crazy. In my opinion that was HIS fault. She gave him a warning. How can someone tell you they killed their ex-husband and you stay in their bed? How is that normal? Where are your survival instincts?
2. In the end, they were thanking God for him having survived and making her out like she was wrong all along. But I personally think, what he did was GRAVELY wrong, why should he not only not have to pay any consequences for it but also get the girl of his dreams. She did nothing but mind her business, yet he shattered her world with a bag of lies but in the end, she lost everything and the movie made it seem like Lawrence was the hero in all of this.
3. It took her having a gun to his head for him to finally apologise for the disgusting way in which he treated her. He didn't apologise when he told her he didn't want her, he didn't apologise when she saw him with someone else. He was just going to up and leave out of a psychotic woman's life. Rookie Mistake. The least he could have done was say the words sorry and the fact that he didn't think to do that till she almost blew his head off just added salt to injury.
My main point is so many Guys nowadays are walking around with this Martin Lawrence attitude. Treating girls anyhow and thinking ahh well, they'll be just fine. If they're not careful, they may just end up with a reality check like this crazy woman.
Leave your comments below,
What is your opinion?
Sunday, 7 December 2014
Why Men Lie!
Exactly one year ago, the first guy I met at university told me he didn't mean everything he had ever said to me and that he wanted to be with the girl he cheated on me with.
Remember to guard your heart guys.
About an hour ago the most recent guy I met at university told me he never meant anything he ever said to me and that he had more feelings for the girl he cheated on with me.
Funnily enough, the content of their lies were quite similar, the usual bs about wanting to make me their wife, having found a respectable girl to take home, yardie yardie ya. A bunch of lies that when push came to shove, they were quick to denounce.
So my question is why did they feel the need to lie in the first place. What possesses them to think telling a lie will work out in the long run better than telling the truth. You know what I believe? You are never wrong for wanting what you want. These guys wanted to be players, they wanted to play the field, they didn't want to be tied down to one girl and if that is genuinely what they want, no one can judge them for it. What is wrong is not giving someone to choose to be a part of that.
If you want to have 3 girls on the go, by all means do that. If you want to have a friend with benefit, by all means do that. Just don't take away my choice to decide if I want to be a part of that or not by lying to me. Neither of these guys told me the truth, and what hurt the most in both situations is not that they didn't really want to be with me but that they lied to me, told me they saw a future with me. Watched me fall for them and let down my guard only to turn around and be like....I didn't mean what I said. The last guy was particularly beastly....He even told me there was no reason for lying to me, he just did it. If that's not the devil himself speaking I don't know what is.
In conclusion, I know the title suggests I have a reason for why men lie but the truth is I have no idea. The only sort of conclusion I can come to is that men don't lie. Boys do! It's only boys that try and manipulate the situation to get their way. Men don't have to lie because they generally know what they want and go after it.
I would never judge you for wanting what you want. But when you rob me off the choice to decide if I want to be a part of it..then that's when I get mad.
Remember to guard your heart guys.
PS: This experience made me so much stronger though and I definitely learnt ALOT! So I guess it wasn't all negative.
Friday, 21 November 2014
Actions speak louder than words: Consistency
Hey Guys,
I've been meaning to write for so long because sooo much drama has been going on with my life but I just haven't been able to. At some point, I will update you but in the mean time there is a topic that has been reoccurring in my life and I wanted to share it with you guys. Firstly here is a quote:
'He may love you. He probably does. He probably thinks about you all the time. But that isn't what matters. What matters is what he is doing about it, and what he's doing about it is nothing. And if he is doing nothing, you most certainly shouldn't do anything. You need someone who goes out of their way to make it obvious that they want you in their life.'
Yes, this is very specific to relationships but the message behind this is clear; pay attention to what people do, not what they say. In my all my years on earth, in my dealings with boys, friends and the human race in general, the one thing I have noticed is that what people say and what people actually do can sometimes be WORLD apart.
The phrase 'easier said than done' springs to mind. It's an easy thing to say something, to make declarations, tell someone you like them, tell someone you'll help them out with something, actually going through with it on the other hand requires sacrifice and effort, many things a lot of people just aren't willing to give.
The point of this post? It's not just enough to rely and take at face value what someone says, most likely than not, it is an expression of what they want to say/be not necessarily who they are, watch their actions and make your decisions based on that.
At the same time make sure what you say and what you do align. Be a woman/man of your world. There's no need to go through life sending mixed messages and proclaiming things that are just not true or your true intentions. It messes people up and paints a negative image of you.
I know sometimes it's hard because you assume that
just because you mean everything you say other people do to but that's just not the case. Don't forget to Guard your heart!!
I've been meaning to write for so long because sooo much drama has been going on with my life but I just haven't been able to. At some point, I will update you but in the mean time there is a topic that has been reoccurring in my life and I wanted to share it with you guys. Firstly here is a quote:'He may love you. He probably does. He probably thinks about you all the time. But that isn't what matters. What matters is what he is doing about it, and what he's doing about it is nothing. And if he is doing nothing, you most certainly shouldn't do anything. You need someone who goes out of their way to make it obvious that they want you in their life.'
Yes, this is very specific to relationships but the message behind this is clear; pay attention to what people do, not what they say. In my all my years on earth, in my dealings with boys, friends and the human race in general, the one thing I have noticed is that what people say and what people actually do can sometimes be WORLD apart.
The phrase 'easier said than done' springs to mind. It's an easy thing to say something, to make declarations, tell someone you like them, tell someone you'll help them out with something, actually going through with it on the other hand requires sacrifice and effort, many things a lot of people just aren't willing to give.
The point of this post? It's not just enough to rely and take at face value what someone says, most likely than not, it is an expression of what they want to say/be not necessarily who they are, watch their actions and make your decisions based on that.
At the same time make sure what you say and what you do align. Be a woman/man of your world. There's no need to go through life sending mixed messages and proclaiming things that are just not true or your true intentions. It messes people up and paints a negative image of you.
I know sometimes it's hard because you assume that
just because you mean everything you say other people do to but that's just not the case. Don't forget to Guard your heart!!
Friday, 3 October 2014
Believe people when they show you who they are!
Hey guys!
It's been 2 years since I first created this blog and wrote a post. But rather than start a fresh blog, something told me to stick with this one, for some reason I guess Writer's Bloc just pretty much covers everything for me. So 2 years on, I'm back in the 'blogging game' and I have a lot to blog about, only difference is now I'm more grown up (literally and otherwise). I have my opinions now and I know why I have them! My writing style is quite quirky so sometimes you'll read something and be like whaaaaaat? But don't worry that's just me, oh also sometimes my African side comes out, again that's just me writing how I would speak. So make sure you follow, share and keep checking the blog! Also feel free to comment and leave your opinions and suggestions.
Without further ado; let's talk about human beings. Now this will mainly talk to the females although it may be true for some guys but for some reason, from what I've seen, guys tend to get the message a lot faster than women. For a guy, if someone acts some type of way towards them, they tend to get the message pretty quick and get to stepping, but women....
We women like to make up excuses for people;
'he wasn't himself'
'he wouldn't have said that if....'
'He's not usually like that'
'I probably provoked him..'
'If I hadn't said that.'
People are adults and as such they choose to do what they do. Irrespective of what you said, the time of day or even what they had for lunch, they won't do or say something that is not within their capability. If they said they said they wanted to get with your friend after kissing you (first of all, GIRL YOU NEED TO RUN NOW! That is not okay) then don't say he was only joking and keep talking to him. Talk to your two feet and keep it moving. Its not a joke if you're not laughing, and me and you both know you're not laughing at that comment.
The point of this is when someone starts to show you bits of themselves, even if its not consistent with who you thought the person is or what you would like them to be, it is them categorically testing you to see how much Iranu (Nonsense) you will take, show them you're not an idiot and DROP them like they're hot. When you stick around making excuses and lying to yourself is when you make them think it's okay to treat you like rubbish and oh boy trust me they will. (This is topic for another post,)
It may seem like I'm talking only to the ladies but this is for everyone in general. If a girl keeps making comments, listen to what she's saying. The quote 'there's no smoke without fire' is there for a reason! These thoughts don't randomly pop into anyone's head. Its coming from a place within them. They are giving you a private screening of what is going on in their head, some pretending its a film and start realising this is reality. If someone is joking about not wanting to be with you, using you or disrespecting you, they are stylishly telling you that they don't want to be with you, they want to use you or plan to disrespect you. My dear, it really is that simple.
Don't wait till the 50th time to realise someone is a dirty rassclart pigeon when they've been showing you from day one that they were never serious.
GUYS, GUARD YOUR HEART ! Believe people when they show you who they really are!
Love you guys x
It's been 2 years since I first created this blog and wrote a post. But rather than start a fresh blog, something told me to stick with this one, for some reason I guess Writer's Bloc just pretty much covers everything for me. So 2 years on, I'm back in the 'blogging game' and I have a lot to blog about, only difference is now I'm more grown up (literally and otherwise). I have my opinions now and I know why I have them! My writing style is quite quirky so sometimes you'll read something and be like whaaaaaat? But don't worry that's just me, oh also sometimes my African side comes out, again that's just me writing how I would speak. So make sure you follow, share and keep checking the blog! Also feel free to comment and leave your opinions and suggestions.
Without further ado; let's talk about human beings. Now this will mainly talk to the females although it may be true for some guys but for some reason, from what I've seen, guys tend to get the message a lot faster than women. For a guy, if someone acts some type of way towards them, they tend to get the message pretty quick and get to stepping, but women....
We women like to make up excuses for people;
'he wasn't himself'
'he wouldn't have said that if....'
'He's not usually like that'
'I probably provoked him..'
'If I hadn't said that.'
People are adults and as such they choose to do what they do. Irrespective of what you said, the time of day or even what they had for lunch, they won't do or say something that is not within their capability. If they said they said they wanted to get with your friend after kissing you (first of all, GIRL YOU NEED TO RUN NOW! That is not okay) then don't say he was only joking and keep talking to him. Talk to your two feet and keep it moving. Its not a joke if you're not laughing, and me and you both know you're not laughing at that comment.
The point of this is when someone starts to show you bits of themselves, even if its not consistent with who you thought the person is or what you would like them to be, it is them categorically testing you to see how much Iranu (Nonsense) you will take, show them you're not an idiot and DROP them like they're hot. When you stick around making excuses and lying to yourself is when you make them think it's okay to treat you like rubbish and oh boy trust me they will. (This is topic for another post,)
It may seem like I'm talking only to the ladies but this is for everyone in general. If a girl keeps making comments, listen to what she's saying. The quote 'there's no smoke without fire' is there for a reason! These thoughts don't randomly pop into anyone's head. Its coming from a place within them. They are giving you a private screening of what is going on in their head, some pretending its a film and start realising this is reality. If someone is joking about not wanting to be with you, using you or disrespecting you, they are stylishly telling you that they don't want to be with you, they want to use you or plan to disrespect you. My dear, it really is that simple.
Don't wait till the 50th time to realise someone is a dirty rassclart pigeon when they've been showing you from day one that they were never serious.
GUYS, GUARD YOUR HEART ! Believe people when they show you who they really are!
Love you guys x
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