Friends don't have to agree to be there for you!

So I have this Friend, she often comes to me with a problem, I often don't agree with the problem, but I always listen to it and try to reach a solution for her. The fact that I don't see the problem as a problem doesn't mean it's not a problem for her. So I would say my job as a friend is to listen to her and be there for her as long as she needs. Would you agree?

Many times you won't like the decision your friend makes, mostly boy related or they will tell you something that bothers them and in your mind you will be like, this isn't really a problem to be honest just get over it. But you can't forget that everyone is different and just because you wouldn't see that as a big deal if it was you doesn't mean they're not allowed to see it as a big deal. They're not you, things that may not hurt you can hurt then and it's not your call to decide what is important or not.

As a friend you should listen to them, say what you can to make them feel better and if you have nothing to say, a collection of hmms,grunts and I feel you girl should suffice. Under no circumstances must you say:

Just get over it already. It's not that deep.
Get over them.
Anyways....(Then change the subject) this one is particularly not alright

You get the gist. You don't have to agree or even understand where your friend is coming from. But you do have to be there for them. Otherwise what's the difference between you and a stranger?

Do you agree? Comment below and don't forget to subscribe

Why Men Lie!

Exactly one year ago, the first guy I met at university told me he didn't mean everything he had ever said to me and that he wanted to be with the girl he cheated on me with.

About an hour ago the most recent guy I met at university told me he never meant anything he ever said to me and that he had more feelings for the girl he cheated on with me.

Funnily enough, the content of their lies were quite similar, the usual bs about wanting to make me their wife, having found a respectable girl to take home, yardie yardie ya. A bunch of lies that when push came to shove, they were quick to denounce.

So my question is why did they feel the need to lie in the first place. What possesses them to think telling a lie will work out in the long run better than telling the truth. You know what I believe? You are never wrong for wanting what you want. These guys wanted to be players, they wanted to play the field, they didn't want to be tied down to one girl and if that is genuinely what they want, no one can judge them for it. What is wrong is not giving someone to choose to be a part of that.

If you want to have 3 girls on the go, by all means do that. If you want to have a friend with benefit, by all means do that. Just don't take away my choice to decide if I want to be a part of that or not by lying to me. Neither of these guys told me the truth, and what hurt the most in both situations is not that they didn't really want to be with me but that they lied to me, told me they saw a future with me. Watched me fall for them and let down my guard only to turn around and be like....I didn't mean what I said. The last guy was particularly beastly....He even told me there was no reason for lying to me, he just did it. If that's not the devil himself speaking I don't know what is.

In conclusion, I know the title suggests I have a reason for why men lie but the truth is I have no idea. The only sort of conclusion I can come to is that men don't lie. Boys do! It's only boys that try and manipulate the situation to get their way. Men don't have to lie because they generally know what they want and go after it. 

I would never judge you for wanting what you want. But when you rob me off the choice to decide if I want to be a part of it..then that's when I get mad.

Remember to guard your heart guys.

PS: This experience made me so much stronger though and I definitely learnt ALOT! So I guess it wasn't all negative.

How to make Nigerian Fried Rice!

Hey Guys!

So recently on my weightloss journey post, I mentioned that I would be doing some healthy recipes and sharing them with you. Now you're probably thinking FRIED rice can't be all that healthy but there actually isn't that much fat in it and if you add a lot of vegetables the meal can be enjoyed as part of a balanced diet, so here is my step by step on how to make Nigerian Fried Rice.

Ingredients

2 TABLESPOONS OIL

2 CUPS OF RICE

SWEETCORN

SPRING ONIONS (for flavour and aroma)

ONIONS (to act as onions)

PRAWNS

TOMATOES

PEAS/MIXED VEG

CARROTS

PEPPERS(optional)

SEASONING (Listed in recipe)

PLANTAIN AND CHICKEN WITH SUPERMALT (Like real Africans do)

Recipes

1. Chop up all your vegetables and onions. Cut up all the vegetables into one bowl and then chop up all the onion into a separate bowl. 

2. Line the bottom of the pot with oil(use as much or as little as you think you need but you don't need a lot. Then add the onions, fry for about 3 minutes.

3. Wash your rice then add to the oil and make sure there is significantly more rice than oil and start to fry the rice. Mix it about often to stop it sticking to the pan, sticking together or burning. Do this for about 7 minutes.

4. Add water to the rice, not so much that there is excess water over the rice. Just enough that the water is just about level with the rice or a centimetre above it. At this point, add your seasoning. (All Purpose, Parsley, Curry powder-this gives it the yellow colour, mixed herbs, Maggi, chilli powder).#

5. Leave to cook, after a while, when the rice begins to soften and cook, add your vegetables, if the rice is drying out, add more water but be careful not to drown it and make it soggy and nasssty. With the vegetables added, Cover it with foil and let it simmer. Make sure to check up on it often and add water if required. 

6. When the rice becomes soft enough to your taste, take off the boil.

7. Serve and accompany with Plantain and Chicken. (Comment if you would like a post on how I season my chicken.)

I wish I could have given you step by step pictures as well but my phone gave up on me midway. But this is the final product. I served this to a couple of my friends who loved it and praised it highly but then again they're my friends  so they may have just said that but I'm gonna take it regardless.

Finally shout out to my mummy for teaching me how to cook and increasing my bride price by N100 000.