Hey Guys,
Hope your all doing well, if you follow me on YouTube you'll know a lot of my efforts have been directed there recently, and if you don't, you can check out my channel here! But don't worry I'm still very much on the Lifelessons! So without further ado let's explore what number 5 is:
Face Your Demons head on!
What I've come to realize in life is that there are two ways to deal with any problem you may have. The first is to hide from it, put it away from you and hope that it goes away and the second is to face it head on, take the pain that flows from it and defeat it. Both ways may work don't get me wrong, if you ignore something long enough, you may eventually develop a resilience to it. But is it really defeated?
What may at first appear as if you have overcome something merely because you have put it out of your mind may actually be that you have just masked it. Effectively you paused the feelings, the emotions, the breakdowns it causes rather than stop it. The risk then is that when you're faced with this problem at a later date, all the turmoil and heartache it once caused may come flowing back, sometimes even worse than the first time and then you have to being the process all over again.
You could choose to handle situations that way or you can choose the slightly but more effective option which is to tackle them head on. If you choose to confront your demons and face them every day, yes it will hurt at first, yes it will break you at first but not for long because eventually it loses its power over you. It loses it's ability to offend, upset, and hurt you.
The reasons why seeing something again after a long time hurts so much is that the memories come back to haunt you full force, but if you have dealt with your emotions one by one and reasoned it away, it wouldn't hurt you so much.
I know the post is a little cryptic and may be a little hard to pinpoint but I hope some of you got something from it.
Feel free to check out the other LifeLessons:
LifeLesson1: Click Here!
LifeLesson2: Click Here!
LifeLesson3: Click Here!
LifeLesson4: Click Here!
Showing posts with label learning to be strong. Show all posts
Showing posts with label learning to be strong. Show all posts
Monday, 5 October 2015
Sunday, 6 September 2015
It's Okay To Fall Down #LifeLesson3
Hey Guys,
A good friend took me ice skating for the first time yesterday and I genuinely had an amazing time. I spent the 1st hour clinging desperately to the side of the rink but in the last 10 minutes I was skating completely unaided but still close to the side of course. Did I fall smack on my bum/face/hands/everywhere a couple of times? Yes! I did and a couple of little kids laughed at me. I don't blame them, I laughed at myself too. Did I keep bumping into people and getting evils from parents? Yes that also happened a few times more than I would have liked.
But the point is that I didn't really start to make progress until I became unafraid of falling. When falling no longer seemed that big a deal, I became more confident and took more risks. Which in turn gave me a greater chance of learning to skatw. The risk of falling is in every thing you do in life. If you try anything worth doing you stand the chance of failing at it. You might not like it but the quicker you accept it, the better for you.
It's not whether you fall or not, because most likely the chances are you will, you can't help that. What you can help is whether you get back up and try again or give up and sit on the sidelines and watch other people achieve it. Did I feel embarrassed at having a large group of people see me Hi-5 the ice a few times? You already know the answer. But the embarrassment quickly dissipated when I learnt to laugh at myself and realised actually it's OKAY to fall down. It just means I'm getting closer to the goal.
Don't let your pride be the reason why you don't achieve. Fall down as many times as you need to just make sure you get back up!
Bee
xx
Check out Life lesson 1 here!
Check out Life lesson 2 here!
For my Vlogs and Videos- Check them out here!
A good friend took me ice skating for the first time yesterday and I genuinely had an amazing time. I spent the 1st hour clinging desperately to the side of the rink but in the last 10 minutes I was skating completely unaided but still close to the side of course. Did I fall smack on my bum/face/hands/everywhere a couple of times? Yes! I did and a couple of little kids laughed at me. I don't blame them, I laughed at myself too. Did I keep bumping into people and getting evils from parents? Yes that also happened a few times more than I would have liked.
But the point is that I didn't really start to make progress until I became unafraid of falling. When falling no longer seemed that big a deal, I became more confident and took more risks. Which in turn gave me a greater chance of learning to skatw. The risk of falling is in every thing you do in life. If you try anything worth doing you stand the chance of failing at it. You might not like it but the quicker you accept it, the better for you.
It's not whether you fall or not, because most likely the chances are you will, you can't help that. What you can help is whether you get back up and try again or give up and sit on the sidelines and watch other people achieve it. Did I feel embarrassed at having a large group of people see me Hi-5 the ice a few times? You already know the answer. But the embarrassment quickly dissipated when I learnt to laugh at myself and realised actually it's OKAY to fall down. It just means I'm getting closer to the goal.
Don't let your pride be the reason why you don't achieve. Fall down as many times as you need to just make sure you get back up!
Bee
xx
Check out Life lesson 1 here!
Check out Life lesson 2 here!
For my Vlogs and Videos- Check them out here!
Friday, 4 September 2015
Don't take it for granted! #LifeLesson2
Hey Guys,
Yes I know, I promised it would be a 7 day special then disappeared on the 1st day! Shame on me! Maybe it won't be everyday but I will definitely get to the 7 lessons lol. On that topic, if you haven't seen topic number one, you can check it out Here:
Today's lesson is about not taking things for granted. There are things that occur everyday that we take for granted because we don't work for it or do anything to bring it about. For example breathing, getting out of bed in the morning, sleeping etc. These are things we put no effort into doing yet achieve effortlessly. Consequently we end up taking these things for granted. STOP!
When you find out you can no longer do these things is when you start to appreciate it and at this point it's too late. Recently I've been suffering a bout of insomnia and have not been able to sleep for God knows how long. I just stay awake thinking of the days when I would plop my head on the pillow and I'm gone. Take my word for it, you never know what you have until it's gone that's a fact.
So whether it be people, jobs, relationships, food or the basic things in life you have come to expect, take time out to appreciate what you have because you never know when you just might lose it.
Bee
xx
PS: For Video advice and Rants from me, click Here!
Yes I know, I promised it would be a 7 day special then disappeared on the 1st day! Shame on me! Maybe it won't be everyday but I will definitely get to the 7 lessons lol. On that topic, if you haven't seen topic number one, you can check it out Here:
Today's lesson is about not taking things for granted. There are things that occur everyday that we take for granted because we don't work for it or do anything to bring it about. For example breathing, getting out of bed in the morning, sleeping etc. These are things we put no effort into doing yet achieve effortlessly. Consequently we end up taking these things for granted. STOP!
When you find out you can no longer do these things is when you start to appreciate it and at this point it's too late. Recently I've been suffering a bout of insomnia and have not been able to sleep for God knows how long. I just stay awake thinking of the days when I would plop my head on the pillow and I'm gone. Take my word for it, you never know what you have until it's gone that's a fact.
So whether it be people, jobs, relationships, food or the basic things in life you have come to expect, take time out to appreciate what you have because you never know when you just might lose it.
Bee
xx
PS: For Video advice and Rants from me, click Here!
Thursday, 27 August 2015
Let Them Go! #LifeLesson1
Hey Guys!
It has been the longest time, I'm going to try and post a short excerpt everyday for the next week so a #7day Life Lessons kinda situation. Partly to make up for being away for so long and partly to get me back into the spirit of Blogging!
Let them Go!
Today's post is going to be really short and it's just to encourage you guys. When it comes to relationships, friendships, partnerships, any kind of ships or boats (see what I did there), if the other party in the ship decides to leave. Let them go! You do not need to fight, struggle, beg, plead or persuade anybody to remain in your life. There is no need. I know you've heard it before but your destiny is not tied to anybody who decides to leave you. If a friend stops putting in effort to the relationship and you try to get it back and it doesn't work? Leave them. If a guy/girl your involves with suddenly decides you're not the one any more? Asta La vista.
Should you fight for what you want/love/believe in? Absolutely! But even the greatest fights only have 12 rounds. There comes a point where your fighting isn't doing anybody any good, most especially not you. That whole let them go and if they come back to you they're yours thing really applies here. Maybe they'll come back, maybe they won't and truly letting someone go means accepting the possibility that they won't and that's alright too. Situations like that tend to work out for the best. Yes you lost them, but most times you tend to get better.
So that's pretty much it! I told you I would keep it short! By God's grace, lesson number 2 will be up tomorrow. In the mean time feel free to check out my Youtube channel, which is where all my energy and time has been going into!
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCC9JtJa-GnrWhB58Kbhbe3g
Bee
x
It has been the longest time, I'm going to try and post a short excerpt everyday for the next week so a #7day Life Lessons kinda situation. Partly to make up for being away for so long and partly to get me back into the spirit of Blogging!
Let them Go!
Today's post is going to be really short and it's just to encourage you guys. When it comes to relationships, friendships, partnerships, any kind of ships or boats (see what I did there), if the other party in the ship decides to leave. Let them go! You do not need to fight, struggle, beg, plead or persuade anybody to remain in your life. There is no need. I know you've heard it before but your destiny is not tied to anybody who decides to leave you. If a friend stops putting in effort to the relationship and you try to get it back and it doesn't work? Leave them. If a guy/girl your involves with suddenly decides you're not the one any more? Asta La vista.
Should you fight for what you want/love/believe in? Absolutely! But even the greatest fights only have 12 rounds. There comes a point where your fighting isn't doing anybody any good, most especially not you. That whole let them go and if they come back to you they're yours thing really applies here. Maybe they'll come back, maybe they won't and truly letting someone go means accepting the possibility that they won't and that's alright too. Situations like that tend to work out for the best. Yes you lost them, but most times you tend to get better.
So that's pretty much it! I told you I would keep it short! By God's grace, lesson number 2 will be up tomorrow. In the mean time feel free to check out my Youtube channel, which is where all my energy and time has been going into!
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCC9JtJa-GnrWhB58Kbhbe3g
Bee
x
Thursday, 16 July 2015
Don't take it Personally!
Hey Guys,I feel like I'm forever apologising for being MIA but sorry for not posting in a while. I've been meaning to post as there are quite a few experiences to share with you. But this one first.
Don't take it personal! Ever! You're probably wondering what I'm on about now. What I mean is that sometimes in life you expect certain people to be there for you. You swear by anything that whatever happens they will always have your back and you convince yourself that they are the one person in the world that can never let you down. (ha!) That is the biggest mistake you can possibly make because nobody is perfect. As long as they're human beings, they will always let you down. Maybe intentionally, maybe accidentally. Maybe they're going through their own crap and don't even realise what you're going through. Whatever the reason, my advice to you is not to take it personally.
It's not always about you and if you get upset every time
someone you expect to be there for you isn't, you end up giving yourself high blood pressure or hypertension or whatever because you will constantly be disappointed. Just think to yourself whenever you're in that situation, no they wasn't there for me in this particular instance but does that erase all the times they have been there for you in the past, or the times they could be in the future. Because somebody lets you down now doesn't mean they don't care about you or that it was a direct attack to you. Sometimes the person just made a mistake. Let them know how you feel if it bothers you that much and move on with your life.Lesson #2
Which brings me to my second lesson of the post which is that you should learn to be strong for yourself. Stop relying on other people to be there for you in difficult situations because as you seen, they aren't alwas there. Nobody can care about you in the way that you can care about yourself so stop expecting them to. If you need someone to hold you, hold yourself, if you need advice, advice yourself. Whatever you are looking for in someone else, I guarantee you can provide for yourself. It will save you a lot of heartache in the future.
Until next time,
Blessing xx
Wednesday, 3 June 2015
Life Reflections + My Birthday
Hey Guys,
Happy Belated birthday to me, 3rd of June is my birthday and I celebrated it with a couple of friends by going to Blackpool Pleasure beach where we spent the day. It was an amazing day and I really had fun, it is one of the simplest yet most fun birthday I have had in a while. But having reached a landmark age (at least in my opinion, a few of my friends disagree), I thought I'd do a few reflections on what I've learnt in my two decades on earth and what I hope to achieve.
Life:
Cliche as it may be, there's a quote that says ''If there's one thing I've learnt about life, it's that it goes on". Bearing this in mind, I keep trying not to take anything too personally. Life has a lot of things to throw at me, I can choose to dodge/cower or roll over and play dead at the slightest hit or I can take it head on and just deal with it. Some days I do feel like it's all too much, but recently I've come to realise that nothing in life is really that deep, and every problem seems better after a good nights sleep. In short, it is imperative to learn to embrace the things you cannot change.
Relationships:
In the last 6 months leading up to my birthday, I've been in my first proper relationship and had my first proper heartbreak. Truth be sold, it sucks, it still sucks and it seems it may suck for a while still. But I know I definitely learnt a lot about myself as a person and a lot about how relationships work. I think the most important thing I've taken from my experiences so far is that you could be everything someone ever wanted and still not be enough. In terms of friendships and romantic liaisons, its important to remember that as long as I give my best, I'm not responsible nor can i control what others give me back.
With friends, I think its important not to have too high expectations of people, because people are people and they will often not be there for you when you need them or fall short of your expectations. All you can really do is look past their flaws and embrace those who truly care for you.
Academics:
My general experience with this is that you get what you give, when I study really hard and put my all into something, I tend to do really well in it and when I slack and don't do as much as I should, that is also reflected in the result. But sometimes that's not always the case and you may end up sometimes putting your all into something and getting a grade that is not reflective of the effort. But what this has taught me is that academic results are not the end of the world. They are undoubtedly important but there is so much more in this world and to your intellectual ability than just merely what a piece of paper says.
Others:
I think the one thing I've picked up about life is not to let fear ever held you back from anything. If you really want something go and get it. This applies to YouTube, making friends etc, nothing is as scary as it seems and at the end of the day, what do you really have to lose? My greatest comfort has come from thinking, the worst thing that could happen is that people say no. They can't kill me, or harm me, all they can say is no and in retrospect that's not really so bad.
So those are the titbits of wisdom I've learnt so far, I will also share with you 5 random goals I hope to achieve in this next year of my life and will come back in a year to see if I can cross them off:
1. Start (at the very least) writing a novel.
2. Reach 300 Subscribers on youtube.
3. Learn to sew a dress.
4. Travel outside of the country.
5. Volunteer and do something to help the needy.
Speaking of YouTube, I currently reached 100 Subscribers on my YouTube channel and would appreciate if you could show your support by liking, commenting and sharing my videos and if you haven't already, please subscribe to the channel:
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCC9JtJa-GnrWhB58Kbhbe3g
Until next time,
xxx
Happy Belated birthday to me, 3rd of June is my birthday and I celebrated it with a couple of friends by going to Blackpool Pleasure beach where we spent the day. It was an amazing day and I really had fun, it is one of the simplest yet most fun birthday I have had in a while. But having reached a landmark age (at least in my opinion, a few of my friends disagree), I thought I'd do a few reflections on what I've learnt in my two decades on earth and what I hope to achieve.
Life:
Cliche as it may be, there's a quote that says ''If there's one thing I've learnt about life, it's that it goes on". Bearing this in mind, I keep trying not to take anything too personally. Life has a lot of things to throw at me, I can choose to dodge/cower or roll over and play dead at the slightest hit or I can take it head on and just deal with it. Some days I do feel like it's all too much, but recently I've come to realise that nothing in life is really that deep, and every problem seems better after a good nights sleep. In short, it is imperative to learn to embrace the things you cannot change.
Relationships:
In the last 6 months leading up to my birthday, I've been in my first proper relationship and had my first proper heartbreak. Truth be sold, it sucks, it still sucks and it seems it may suck for a while still. But I know I definitely learnt a lot about myself as a person and a lot about how relationships work. I think the most important thing I've taken from my experiences so far is that you could be everything someone ever wanted and still not be enough. In terms of friendships and romantic liaisons, its important to remember that as long as I give my best, I'm not responsible nor can i control what others give me back.
With friends, I think its important not to have too high expectations of people, because people are people and they will often not be there for you when you need them or fall short of your expectations. All you can really do is look past their flaws and embrace those who truly care for you.
Academics:
My general experience with this is that you get what you give, when I study really hard and put my all into something, I tend to do really well in it and when I slack and don't do as much as I should, that is also reflected in the result. But sometimes that's not always the case and you may end up sometimes putting your all into something and getting a grade that is not reflective of the effort. But what this has taught me is that academic results are not the end of the world. They are undoubtedly important but there is so much more in this world and to your intellectual ability than just merely what a piece of paper says.
Others:
I think the one thing I've picked up about life is not to let fear ever held you back from anything. If you really want something go and get it. This applies to YouTube, making friends etc, nothing is as scary as it seems and at the end of the day, what do you really have to lose? My greatest comfort has come from thinking, the worst thing that could happen is that people say no. They can't kill me, or harm me, all they can say is no and in retrospect that's not really so bad.
So those are the titbits of wisdom I've learnt so far, I will also share with you 5 random goals I hope to achieve in this next year of my life and will come back in a year to see if I can cross them off:
1. Start (at the very least) writing a novel.
2. Reach 300 Subscribers on youtube.
3. Learn to sew a dress.
4. Travel outside of the country.
5. Volunteer and do something to help the needy.
Speaking of YouTube, I currently reached 100 Subscribers on my YouTube channel and would appreciate if you could show your support by liking, commenting and sharing my videos and if you haven't already, please subscribe to the channel:
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCC9JtJa-GnrWhB58Kbhbe3g
Until next time,
xxx
Friday, 24 April 2015
Learning to say NO! (Breaking the curse of the people pleaser)
Hey guys!
I'm back with a new post, and this one is titled learning to say no!
Now I am definitely a people pleaser, I can deny it all I want but it is evident that displeasing people makes me uncomfortable so even when it's not something i quite want to do I find myself going along with it just because i find saying no a bigger deal than it really is. consequently, I find myself in a lot of situations where I'm like 'what the hell am i doing here' 'this was a terrible idea' 'can I just sneak out'.
If you're a people pleaser as well, this will sound familiar. Well today I decided I'm going to break that habit and believe me you will too. Gone are the days when you will accept invitations/proposals out of fear of hurting the other persons feelings.
1. You have one life, it's yours not theirs so whatever choices you make in it are 100% yours.
Nobody and I mean nobody has a right to make your life choices for you, unless you're making theirs for them which as a people pleaser i highly doubt you are. Do you want to spend most of your life regretting doing things you never wanted to do? No you don't, so don't do things you never wanted to do.
2. It's not rude to say NO!
often times you may get scared that saying no may come across as rude, but trust me it really isn't. you only have 24 hours in a day, at least 6 of those are spent with you sleeping, you simply don't have the time to take on commitments you're not committed to. A reasonable person would understand this. As long as you decline politely, it is not rude and they will respect you more for having a plan to which you stick to.
3. Recognise that sometimes people will try to manipulate you.
There are people who when they become aware that you always say yes, will always use this to their advantage even if it's to your detriment. Weed this people out and make a point of saying no to them. People who always ask you for things aren't necessarily bad or selfish people, they're just people with their own best interests at heart. so why don't you reciprocate and have your own best interests too.
4. Be firm!
Don't say maybe when you really mean no,all that does is prolong the disappointment period. Don't say yes then later just disappear, it makes you look unreliable and flaky. Do not leave any room for them to try and change your mind, if you say 'I'm sorry I'm busy this week', they could then suggest next week. if its something you really don't want to do, don't leave gaps for them to change your mind. state firmly then apologise.
5. Basically remember its your life and you will have to live whatever consequences may arise. It's okay to be a little selfish sometimes. ask yourself these questions if you're ever indecisive:
-am I actually the best person to do this job?
-do I actually have time to do this or will I be sacrificing something important to me?
-does this add any value to my life?
If the answer to all three is no, then repeat that same answer to the person asking,
Make sure you comment and share the post and make sure you subscribe to the Blog.
Until next time,
Blessing
xxxx
I'm back with a new post, and this one is titled learning to say no!
Now I am definitely a people pleaser, I can deny it all I want but it is evident that displeasing people makes me uncomfortable so even when it's not something i quite want to do I find myself going along with it just because i find saying no a bigger deal than it really is. consequently, I find myself in a lot of situations where I'm like 'what the hell am i doing here' 'this was a terrible idea' 'can I just sneak out'.
If you're a people pleaser as well, this will sound familiar. Well today I decided I'm going to break that habit and believe me you will too. Gone are the days when you will accept invitations/proposals out of fear of hurting the other persons feelings.
1. You have one life, it's yours not theirs so whatever choices you make in it are 100% yours.
Nobody and I mean nobody has a right to make your life choices for you, unless you're making theirs for them which as a people pleaser i highly doubt you are. Do you want to spend most of your life regretting doing things you never wanted to do? No you don't, so don't do things you never wanted to do.
2. It's not rude to say NO!
often times you may get scared that saying no may come across as rude, but trust me it really isn't. you only have 24 hours in a day, at least 6 of those are spent with you sleeping, you simply don't have the time to take on commitments you're not committed to. A reasonable person would understand this. As long as you decline politely, it is not rude and they will respect you more for having a plan to which you stick to.
3. Recognise that sometimes people will try to manipulate you.
There are people who when they become aware that you always say yes, will always use this to their advantage even if it's to your detriment. Weed this people out and make a point of saying no to them. People who always ask you for things aren't necessarily bad or selfish people, they're just people with their own best interests at heart. so why don't you reciprocate and have your own best interests too.
4. Be firm!
Don't say maybe when you really mean no,all that does is prolong the disappointment period. Don't say yes then later just disappear, it makes you look unreliable and flaky. Do not leave any room for them to try and change your mind, if you say 'I'm sorry I'm busy this week', they could then suggest next week. if its something you really don't want to do, don't leave gaps for them to change your mind. state firmly then apologise.
5. Basically remember its your life and you will have to live whatever consequences may arise. It's okay to be a little selfish sometimes. ask yourself these questions if you're ever indecisive:
-am I actually the best person to do this job?
-do I actually have time to do this or will I be sacrificing something important to me?
-does this add any value to my life?
If the answer to all three is no, then repeat that same answer to the person asking,
Make sure you comment and share the post and make sure you subscribe to the Blog.
Until next time,
Blessing
xxxx
Sunday, 7 December 2014
Why Men Lie!
Exactly one year ago, the first guy I met at university told me he didn't mean everything he had ever said to me and that he wanted to be with the girl he cheated on me with.
Remember to guard your heart guys.
About an hour ago the most recent guy I met at university told me he never meant anything he ever said to me and that he had more feelings for the girl he cheated on with me.
Funnily enough, the content of their lies were quite similar, the usual bs about wanting to make me their wife, having found a respectable girl to take home, yardie yardie ya. A bunch of lies that when push came to shove, they were quick to denounce.
So my question is why did they feel the need to lie in the first place. What possesses them to think telling a lie will work out in the long run better than telling the truth. You know what I believe? You are never wrong for wanting what you want. These guys wanted to be players, they wanted to play the field, they didn't want to be tied down to one girl and if that is genuinely what they want, no one can judge them for it. What is wrong is not giving someone to choose to be a part of that.
If you want to have 3 girls on the go, by all means do that. If you want to have a friend with benefit, by all means do that. Just don't take away my choice to decide if I want to be a part of that or not by lying to me. Neither of these guys told me the truth, and what hurt the most in both situations is not that they didn't really want to be with me but that they lied to me, told me they saw a future with me. Watched me fall for them and let down my guard only to turn around and be like....I didn't mean what I said. The last guy was particularly beastly....He even told me there was no reason for lying to me, he just did it. If that's not the devil himself speaking I don't know what is.
In conclusion, I know the title suggests I have a reason for why men lie but the truth is I have no idea. The only sort of conclusion I can come to is that men don't lie. Boys do! It's only boys that try and manipulate the situation to get their way. Men don't have to lie because they generally know what they want and go after it.
I would never judge you for wanting what you want. But when you rob me off the choice to decide if I want to be a part of it..then that's when I get mad.
Remember to guard your heart guys.
PS: This experience made me so much stronger though and I definitely learnt ALOT! So I guess it wasn't all negative.
Friday, 5 December 2014
The importance of knowing your self worth!
Hey Guys,
Recently, me and my friend was talking about what we learnt from this year and I mentioned that mine was growth and essentially self awareness/knowledge. In 2014, I came to understand the person that is me. I realised my strengths, my weaknesses, my good points, my bad points, the way I think and the person I am. But more importantly was that I gained a high level of self worth.
What do I mean by self worth?
In a nutshell it's who you are. What you do and don't deserve. What you should and shouldn't put up with. Knowing yourself worth means you don't let others take advantage of you, it means you see yourself as someone who is worth a lot, someone who is valuable and who others need to make effort to get into their lives.
Realising my self worth has meant realising that:
1. I am beautiful- you're opinion of whether I am beautiful or not does not decide whether I am beautiful or not. I decide that and I say that I am therefore I am.
2. The horrible and hurtful things that people have done to me is a reflection on who they are and not on me. I did not deserve the way they treated me and I need not feel bad nor blame myself for that.
3. If someone treats me like an option, they are not worthy of me and I will make the choice even easier for them by cutting myself off.
4. If someone has lost me, It's their loss and in the not too distant future, it will hit them that they truly focked up.
5. What others say about you is none of your business. How you react to it on the other hand, is. It can't affect you until you make ot decision to let it. So don't let it.
I could go on and on but I'm sure you get the message. Know who you are first, accept it, love it, then go about practising it. Don't let people treat you like you are garbage on their shoes or like you should be privileged to encounter them .I don't think so.
See yourself as a King/Queen and then act like it. The queen doesn't feel honoured to talk to you so why should I feel honoured that you're talking to me.
Remember to Guard your heart Guys.
Friday, 21 November 2014
Actions speak louder than words: Consistency
Hey Guys,
I've been meaning to write for so long because sooo much drama has been going on with my life but I just haven't been able to. At some point, I will update you but in the mean time there is a topic that has been reoccurring in my life and I wanted to share it with you guys. Firstly here is a quote:
'He may love you. He probably does. He probably thinks about you all the time. But that isn't what matters. What matters is what he is doing about it, and what he's doing about it is nothing. And if he is doing nothing, you most certainly shouldn't do anything. You need someone who goes out of their way to make it obvious that they want you in their life.'
Yes, this is very specific to relationships but the message behind this is clear; pay attention to what people do, not what they say. In my all my years on earth, in my dealings with boys, friends and the human race in general, the one thing I have noticed is that what people say and what people actually do can sometimes be WORLD apart.
The phrase 'easier said than done' springs to mind. It's an easy thing to say something, to make declarations, tell someone you like them, tell someone you'll help them out with something, actually going through with it on the other hand requires sacrifice and effort, many things a lot of people just aren't willing to give.
The point of this post? It's not just enough to rely and take at face value what someone says, most likely than not, it is an expression of what they want to say/be not necessarily who they are, watch their actions and make your decisions based on that.
At the same time make sure what you say and what you do align. Be a woman/man of your world. There's no need to go through life sending mixed messages and proclaiming things that are just not true or your true intentions. It messes people up and paints a negative image of you.
I know sometimes it's hard because you assume that
just because you mean everything you say other people do to but that's just not the case. Don't forget to Guard your heart!!
I've been meaning to write for so long because sooo much drama has been going on with my life but I just haven't been able to. At some point, I will update you but in the mean time there is a topic that has been reoccurring in my life and I wanted to share it with you guys. Firstly here is a quote:'He may love you. He probably does. He probably thinks about you all the time. But that isn't what matters. What matters is what he is doing about it, and what he's doing about it is nothing. And if he is doing nothing, you most certainly shouldn't do anything. You need someone who goes out of their way to make it obvious that they want you in their life.'
Yes, this is very specific to relationships but the message behind this is clear; pay attention to what people do, not what they say. In my all my years on earth, in my dealings with boys, friends and the human race in general, the one thing I have noticed is that what people say and what people actually do can sometimes be WORLD apart.
The phrase 'easier said than done' springs to mind. It's an easy thing to say something, to make declarations, tell someone you like them, tell someone you'll help them out with something, actually going through with it on the other hand requires sacrifice and effort, many things a lot of people just aren't willing to give.
The point of this post? It's not just enough to rely and take at face value what someone says, most likely than not, it is an expression of what they want to say/be not necessarily who they are, watch their actions and make your decisions based on that.
At the same time make sure what you say and what you do align. Be a woman/man of your world. There's no need to go through life sending mixed messages and proclaiming things that are just not true or your true intentions. It messes people up and paints a negative image of you.
I know sometimes it's hard because you assume that
just because you mean everything you say other people do to but that's just not the case. Don't forget to Guard your heart!!
Friday, 17 October 2014
I'm sorry they're not sorry!
So you're probably thinking what an odd title for this post aye?
Well the thing is often-times in life people are going to hurt you or wrong you in some way. Naturally when someone hurts or wrongs someone, the normal reaction is to apologize (whether they mean it or not is another issue) but generally when someone has been caught out in the wrong they apologize, it's just the right thing to do. Right?
Surprisingly that isn't always the case. I suppose what spurred this post is that I was thinking about this person in my recent past who HURT me like crazy. Like when I say this person hurt me, they H-U-R-T me. I wasn't just hurt though, I was humiliated, embarrassed, deceived, any more negative adjectives you can think of! Yet later when I ran into this person, they acted as if nothing had happened, they smiled and talked to me as if the past few months had just been in my head. (Seriously, they had me questioning whether I had dreamt up the whole thing.)
Naturally I expected them to apologize for treating me like a dirty handkerchief (best analogy I could think of) but they didn't and that threw me. I didn't know what to do at that point. Was I supposed to just forgive them irrespective of the fact they clearly didn't ask nor want my forgiveness, or was i supposed to remain hurt and wronged until such time as they came round to apologizing. (It increasingly became clear I would be waiting for this till my afro turned grey). For a long time I held on to resentment, ever ready to spew how i truly felt at them whenever they eventually came to apologize. (My pride had me thinking this day was going to come real soon.)
But then at a point I realized I was just hurting myself. I can't refuse to let go of the situation merely because they could not be mature enough to apologize and own up to their wrongs. You need to realize that in life you won't always get an apology when you're wronged. Your job is to learn to move on regardless. Don't spend your whole life waiting for an apology that may never come. You may just wake up one day realising that you've lived a bitter life holding on to the pain caused by someone who probably didn't care enough to apologize for the dastardly way they treated you.
Learn to accept the apology you never got! If you have to apologize to yourself on their behalf do so, but don't cling to pain and resentment in the hope of getting an apology that will bring closure. Create your own closure. I apologize for all the hurt and heartbreak and sleepless nights, and wounded pride you had to ensure because one ashawo bastard wanted to do baby boy(nigerian terminology there) but don't let that stop you being open and receptive to love.
Don't forget to guard your heart guys!!
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