Be Yourself! Learning to love who you are. (My Youtube channel)

Hey guys!
This is just a quick short post!

I recently got myself a good quality camera to be able to take good pictures for the blog and to better my youtube channel. I'm still learning but this is my first video. Make sure to check it out. Subscribe, like and comment.

Thanks for the support in advance. ;)

The 'I don't want a relationship' excuse AKA The Commitment Phobe

Hey Guys!

So I'm back on youtubing again!!! I started it way back when but just got lazy cause it requires so much effort but as part of my NY resolution, I'm back and I've already posted a new video. I'll leave the link below and make sure to check me out. Like, comment and subscribe.

So, we all know that guy/girl right, you're seeing them, everything is going well, you think this could be going somewhere, then they drop that 'I'm just not ready for a relationship' line. This line can come in various forms, for example:

I don't want a relationship right now...if I did, it would deffo be with you, I just don't.

I'm too busy with school/work/mymusic, and a relationship would distract me

I'm still hurting from my last relationship (this was about 2 years ago) and I don't want to jump in another one.

It doesn't matter how it's phrased, the bottom line is the person wants to have the benefits of a relationship with you but they don't want to be in a relationship with you. What do I advice?

RUN! RUN NOW! Don't put on your shoes, don't take your bag, just run. Only 1 in 35 people who use this excuse mean it. (I made that up but still), the other 34 are selling you dreams.  (Lying). Men are hunters by nature, when they see something, they go for it, they won't waste time faffing around because he won't want anyone to get a chance to have you. Work is not an excuse because nobody works 24/7, past relationships are not good enough if there has been sufficient time between them.

Girls also know what they want, and they wont play around with a guy that they want because they know there are plenty single girls out there waiting to take him so if she's claiming she's not ready, boy RUN!

When they're saying I don't want a relationship, what they really mean, is I don't want a relationship with YOU, trust me when someone meets someone they REALLY like, they will not hesitate in cuffing them immediately. Don't be the girl/guy who stuck around and waited for someone to be ready just to find out he met someone he finally decided he could commit to and asked her out straight away.

If someone says they have a fear of commitment, do this simple test to see if it's really true:

1. Do they have a phone contract (that about 2 yearsthere) if he can enter a 2 year commitment then why cant he commit to you? He doesn't want to!
2. Does he support a football team. Football fans are LOYAL! their team will lose every game of the season and they'll still be loyal. He has the ability to commit. just not to you.

Just remember Beyonce, Obama, Chris Brown all have 'busy' lives and they can still manage to find time to be in a relationship so what position exactly does this guy/girl hold? My dear don't be a learner!

Ofc these are my opinions based on my experiences and you may have a different view so feel free to comment below and tell me what you think.

Youtube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCC9JtJa-GnrWhB58Kbhbe3g

I'm sorry they're not sorry!

So you're probably thinking what an odd title for this post aye?

Well the thing is often-times in life people are going to hurt you or wrong you in some way. Naturally when someone hurts or wrongs someone, the normal reaction is to apologize (whether they mean it or not is another issue) but generally when someone has been caught out in the wrong they apologize, it's just the right thing to do. Right?

Surprisingly that isn't always the case. I suppose what spurred this post is that I was thinking about this person in my recent past who HURT me like crazy. Like when I say this person hurt me, they H-U-R-T me. I wasn't just hurt though, I was humiliated, embarrassed, deceived, any more negative adjectives you can think of! Yet later when I ran into this person, they acted as if nothing had happened, they smiled and talked to me as if the past few months had just been in my head. (Seriously, they had me questioning whether I had dreamt up the whole thing.) 

Naturally I expected them to apologize for treating me like a dirty handkerchief (best analogy I could think of) but they didn't and that threw me. I didn't know what to do at that point. Was I supposed to just forgive them irrespective of the fact they clearly didn't ask nor want my forgiveness, or was i supposed to remain hurt and wronged until such time as they came round to apologizing. (It increasingly became clear I would be waiting for this till my afro turned grey). For a long time I held on to resentment, ever ready to spew how i truly felt at them whenever they eventually came to apologize. (My pride had me thinking this day was going to come real soon.)

But then at a point I realized I was just hurting myself. I can't refuse to let go of the situation merely because they could not be mature enough to apologize and own up to their wrongs. You need to realize that in life you won't always get an apology when you're wronged. Your job is to learn to move on regardless. Don't spend your whole life waiting for an apology that may never come. You may just wake up one day realising that you've lived a bitter life holding on to the pain caused by someone who probably didn't care enough to apologize for the dastardly way they treated you.

Learn to accept the apology you never got! If you have to apologize to yourself on their behalf do so, but don't cling to pain and resentment in the hope of getting an apology that will bring closure. Create your own closure. I apologize for all the hurt and heartbreak and sleepless nights, and wounded pride you had to ensure because one ashawo bastard wanted to do baby boy(nigerian terminology there) but don't let that stop you being open and receptive to love. 

Don't forget to guard your heart guys!!