Friends don't have to agree to be there for you!

So I have this Friend, she often comes to me with a problem, I often don't agree with the problem, but I always listen to it and try to reach a solution for her. The fact that I don't see the problem as a problem doesn't mean it's not a problem for her. So I would say my job as a friend is to listen to her and be there for her as long as she needs. Would you agree?

Many times you won't like the decision your friend makes, mostly boy related or they will tell you something that bothers them and in your mind you will be like, this isn't really a problem to be honest just get over it. But you can't forget that everyone is different and just because you wouldn't see that as a big deal if it was you doesn't mean they're not allowed to see it as a big deal. They're not you, things that may not hurt you can hurt then and it's not your call to decide what is important or not.

As a friend you should listen to them, say what you can to make them feel better and if you have nothing to say, a collection of hmms,grunts and I feel you girl should suffice. Under no circumstances must you say:

Just get over it already. It's not that deep.
Get over them.
Anyways....(Then change the subject) this one is particularly not alright

You get the gist. You don't have to agree or even understand where your friend is coming from. But you do have to be there for them. Otherwise what's the difference between you and a stranger?

Do you agree? Comment below and don't forget to subscribe

Why Men Lie!

Exactly one year ago, the first guy I met at university told me he didn't mean everything he had ever said to me and that he wanted to be with the girl he cheated on me with.

About an hour ago the most recent guy I met at university told me he never meant anything he ever said to me and that he had more feelings for the girl he cheated on with me.

Funnily enough, the content of their lies were quite similar, the usual bs about wanting to make me their wife, having found a respectable girl to take home, yardie yardie ya. A bunch of lies that when push came to shove, they were quick to denounce.

So my question is why did they feel the need to lie in the first place. What possesses them to think telling a lie will work out in the long run better than telling the truth. You know what I believe? You are never wrong for wanting what you want. These guys wanted to be players, they wanted to play the field, they didn't want to be tied down to one girl and if that is genuinely what they want, no one can judge them for it. What is wrong is not giving someone to choose to be a part of that.

If you want to have 3 girls on the go, by all means do that. If you want to have a friend with benefit, by all means do that. Just don't take away my choice to decide if I want to be a part of that or not by lying to me. Neither of these guys told me the truth, and what hurt the most in both situations is not that they didn't really want to be with me but that they lied to me, told me they saw a future with me. Watched me fall for them and let down my guard only to turn around and be like....I didn't mean what I said. The last guy was particularly beastly....He even told me there was no reason for lying to me, he just did it. If that's not the devil himself speaking I don't know what is.

In conclusion, I know the title suggests I have a reason for why men lie but the truth is I have no idea. The only sort of conclusion I can come to is that men don't lie. Boys do! It's only boys that try and manipulate the situation to get their way. Men don't have to lie because they generally know what they want and go after it. 

I would never judge you for wanting what you want. But when you rob me off the choice to decide if I want to be a part of it..then that's when I get mad.

Remember to guard your heart guys.

PS: This experience made me so much stronger though and I definitely learnt ALOT! So I guess it wasn't all negative.

The importance of knowing your self worth!

Hey Guys,

Recently, me and my friend was talking about what we learnt from this year and I mentioned that mine was growth and essentially self awareness/knowledge. In 2014, I came to understand the person that is me. I realised my strengths, my weaknesses, my good points, my bad points, the way I think and the person I am. But more importantly was that I gained a high level of  self worth. 

What do I mean by self worth?

In a nutshell it's who you are. What you do and don't deserve. What you should and shouldn't put up with. Knowing yourself worth means you don't let others take advantage of you, it means  you see yourself as someone who is worth a lot, someone who is valuable and who others need to make effort to get into their lives.

Realising my self worth has meant realising that:

1. I am beautiful- you're opinion of whether I am beautiful or not does not decide whether I am            beautiful or not. I decide that and I say that I am therefore I am.

2. The horrible and hurtful things that people have done to me is a reflection on who they are and not on me. I did not deserve the way they treated me and I need not feel bad nor blame myself for that.

3. If someone treats me like an option, they are not worthy of me and I will make the choice even easier for them by cutting myself off.

4. If someone has lost me, It's their loss and in the not too distant future, it will hit them that they truly focked up.

5. What others say about you is none of your business. How you react to it on the other hand, is. It can't affect you until you make ot decision to let it. So don't let it.

I could go on and on but I'm sure you get the message. Know who you are first, accept it, love it, then go about practising it. Don't let people treat you like you are garbage on their shoes or like you should be privileged to encounter them .I don't think so. 

See yourself as a King/Queen and then act like it. The queen doesn't feel honoured to talk to you so why should I feel honoured that you're talking to me. 

Remember to Guard your heart Guys.

How to make a Spicy Chicken Wrap with red pepper and tomato salsa

Hey Guys,

So I'm bringing a new recipe to my fellow adventurous cooks!
This one is one I stole from the madre, if you know her, you know her food be slaying. She made me one for lunch for my Law firm event and I fell in love so got back to Manchester and decided to make my own spin on it.

INGREDIENTS:

Tortilla Wraps (If you want it more healthy, get whole wheat ones, they taste just as great)
Chicken Fillet/ Breaded Hot and Spicy Chicken
One Red Pepper
1/2 Tomatoes
Half an Onion
Lettuce
Dollop of Mayonnaise
A tablespoon of oil
A teaspoon of tomato puree
Seasoning (All purpose, parsley, chilli powder, maggi)

RECIPE:
First, if you are using a breast fillet, season the chicken and put it in the oven. Personally I preferred the Iceland breaded hot and spicy chicken, it tasted great and brought the whole meal together but if you feel the need to know exactly what goes into your mouth then you can season a breast fillet as well, I would advise coating it in bread crumbs for the added flavour though.

2. Chop up your onions, tomatoes and red pepper.

3.  fry them in as much oil as you feel is required, I suggest about a tablespoon. Add a tiny bit of tomato puree to thicken it then season. My choice of seasoning was a Maggi cube, Parsley, a tiny bit of curry powder, the good ol All Purpose seasoning and a lot of chilli powder.

3. Lay out the Tortilla, cut the breast fillet into about four portions and assemble 2 on each tortilla wrap or if you are using the Iceland breaded chicken use 2 to a wrap.

4. Place the tomato and pepper mix on top. Then add your lettuce to the mix and smear on a little mayonnaise.

5. Pop back into the oveN for about 5 minutes to cook the tortilla. Take them out, cut in half and Enjoy!

This literally took me under an hour to make so whenever you're feeling a little peckish and want a quick healthy bite to eat. You know what to do!

Swimming!! (Effective Ways to Lose weight)

Guys!!!
The weight-loss journey continues!

Me and my house mates have said we wanted to try new things for a long time and make  more memories at Uni, rather than just sit at home the whole year, why not try new things and have some fun. So we decided we would go swimming together. Best evening so far!! I absolutely loved it. Now two of us couldn't swim until we met a nice man who told us about a Guy who could teach us to swim. Lo and behold we went to speak to him and by the time we left the swimming pool this evening I could capably swim forward and backward in the water.

Now don't get me wrong, I was not perfect, not by any standard and my swimming wasn't anything higher than the basic level of moving through the water but I had gone from drowning helplessly any time I attempted to swim to being able to move on my front and my back to and fro each side of the pool in less than 2 hours. If that is not miraculous, I'm not sure what is.

Any ways, to cut the long story short, when I got out of the water, I almost dropped because my legs had literally turned to rubber. I could not move and every single muscle in my body ached! I knew for sure it would hurt like hell tomorrow morning! Without even realising, I had worked out almost every muscle in my body. And whilst having fun as well.

So if you're finding going to the gym or working out at home a constant struggle, I would suggest you try swimming for a fun yet VERY effective way to burn off fat and get in shape whilst having fun! Sitting in the sauna certainly helps as well. And if you're lucky you might find a nice swimming instructor who would be willing to teach you for free!

Actions speak louder than words: Consistency

Hey Guys,
I've been meaning to write for so long because sooo much drama has been going on with my life but I just haven't been able to. At some point, I will update you but in the mean time there is a topic that has been reoccurring in my life and I wanted to share it with you guys. Firstly here is a quote:

'He may love you. He probably does. He probably thinks about you all the time. But that isn't what matters. What matters is what he is doing about it, and what he's doing about it is nothing. And if he is doing nothing, you most certainly shouldn't do anything. You need someone who goes out of their way to make it obvious that they want you in their life.'

Yes, this is very specific to relationships but the message behind this is clear; pay attention to what people do, not what they say. In my all my years on earth, in my dealings with boys, friends and the human race in general, the one thing I have noticed is that what people say and what people actually do can sometimes be WORLD apart.

The phrase 'easier said than done' springs to mind. It's an easy thing to say something, to make declarations, tell someone you like them, tell someone you'll help them out with something, actually going through with it on the other hand requires sacrifice and effort, many things a lot of people just aren't willing to give.

The point of this post? It's not just enough to rely and take at face value what someone says, most likely than not, it is an expression of what they want to say/be not necessarily who they are, watch their actions and make your decisions based on that.

At the same time make sure what you say and what you do align. Be a woman/man of your world. There's no need to go through life sending mixed messages and proclaiming things that are just not true or your true intentions. It messes people up and paints a negative image of you.

I know sometimes it's hard because you assume that
just because you mean everything you say other people do to but that's just not the case. Don't forget to Guard your heart!!

How to make Nigerian Fried Rice!

Hey Guys!

So recently on my weightloss journey post, I mentioned that I would be doing some healthy recipes and sharing them with you. Now you're probably thinking FRIED rice can't be all that healthy but there actually isn't that much fat in it and if you add a lot of vegetables the meal can be enjoyed as part of a balanced diet, so here is my step by step on how to make Nigerian Fried Rice.

Ingredients

2 TABLESPOONS OIL

2 CUPS OF RICE

SWEETCORN

SPRING ONIONS (for flavour and aroma)

ONIONS (to act as onions)

PRAWNS

TOMATOES

PEAS/MIXED VEG

CARROTS

PEPPERS(optional)

SEASONING (Listed in recipe)

PLANTAIN AND CHICKEN WITH SUPERMALT (Like real Africans do)

Recipes

1. Chop up all your vegetables and onions. Cut up all the vegetables into one bowl and then chop up all the onion into a separate bowl. 

2. Line the bottom of the pot with oil(use as much or as little as you think you need but you don't need a lot. Then add the onions, fry for about 3 minutes.

3. Wash your rice then add to the oil and make sure there is significantly more rice than oil and start to fry the rice. Mix it about often to stop it sticking to the pan, sticking together or burning. Do this for about 7 minutes.

4. Add water to the rice, not so much that there is excess water over the rice. Just enough that the water is just about level with the rice or a centimetre above it. At this point, add your seasoning. (All Purpose, Parsley, Curry powder-this gives it the yellow colour, mixed herbs, Maggi, chilli powder).#

5. Leave to cook, after a while, when the rice begins to soften and cook, add your vegetables, if the rice is drying out, add more water but be careful not to drown it and make it soggy and nasssty. With the vegetables added, Cover it with foil and let it simmer. Make sure to check up on it often and add water if required. 

6. When the rice becomes soft enough to your taste, take off the boil.

7. Serve and accompany with Plantain and Chicken. (Comment if you would like a post on how I season my chicken.)

I wish I could have given you step by step pictures as well but my phone gave up on me midway. But this is the final product. I served this to a couple of my friends who loved it and praised it highly but then again they're my friends  so they may have just said that but I'm gonna take it regardless.

Finally shout out to my mummy for teaching me how to cook and increasing my bride price by N100 000.